Thursday, June 27, 2013

Dear Martial Arts (AKA Kickboxing)

Dear Martial Arts Class,

I really do love you, but I would love you more if you worked extra hard to bring my pre-preggo body back. I'm working hard. I mean, I sweat a lot and my body aches in the morning. I do everything you ask of me, and not in a fragile flower, dainty lady way that my mom and husband would prefer. I am really punching and kicking like the pad has taken the last Reduced Fat Oreo.

I would love to have my flat stomach back and for my gigundo boobs to shrink a size or two, so I can actually look good in a dress or a bathing suit or even a tank top, and not look like that ham hanging from a rope at the local deli.

Please help me with this goal, and if you are feeling extra generous, I'd like to know how to do an arm bar so that when TK gets fresh, I can teach him exactly how to speak to his wife.

Thanks,
Class Member in the Mickey Shirt
(P.S. When my classmates ask me who I am thinking of when I punch the pad, it's actually mother nature. I blame her.)

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