It is always painful for me when I realize how short life is and that those around me are getting older, including my parents.
My father recently had arthroscopic surgery on his knee and they were able to fix his meniscus but not his ACL. The doctor also told him that in the next few years he would probably need knee replacement surgery. This whole situation has really bothered me because I worry. I went to his surgery with my mother because I felt like if something happened to him and I wasn't there, I would never be able to forgive myself. He's my dad after all.
I believe that my dad is my biggest fan. He thinks I can do whatever I put my mind to and that I am capable of anything. He thinks I am stronger and smarter than most people and always suggests that I try things to see if I could compete against others and win. He always accepts me for who I am and doesn't think about loving me, he just does. He is the only person that I allow to call me Missy. I don't let others call me that because it makes me feel subordinate and I don't want anyone to think they can make me feel that way, but when my dad does it, it's endearing. I am completely fine with it because I am his little girl and will always be, regardless of age or motherhood.
So, now that my parents are getting older, I am feeling it tearing at my heart. I don't know what I would do without them and I plan on following them wherever they might go because I want my kids to know them like I knew my grandparents. As an adult, I realize that I need to make my own life, which I have, but I also know that I can and will make a life wherever I choose as long as I have those that I truly love around me. Thanksgiving and Christmas are big family holidays for me, and I would never want to celebrate them alone. My family is very important to me and two years ago I was able to add TK to it, which makes it even more enjoyable for me.
Every day when I worry about those around me getting older and aging, I am thankful that there is a tomorrow and that I can take my life one day at a time.
