Melissa = Homeowner (YAY!)

We closed on our house at the end of last week and now we are "homeowners." It took us three years to get into the position to buy a home, but we got here and are very happy with our purchase. And, honestly, to be able to buy a house on Long Island is a pretty big feat in itself.

The house is a good size for us. It has three bedrooms, one bathroom, a large kitchen, a garage and a 3/4 of an acre of property. There's always the option to expand, up or out...ya know, if we ever have those kids that people have been asking me about for the past three years.

Since we got the keys, we have been working on getting it where we want it. It may not seem like a lot, but we have rooms to paint, a back-splash to install, a fence to put up and TVs to hang. It may seem like only a few things but it is already exhausting and expensive, and I have only been moving things in and painting so far. However, I am fully aware that this is a long and arduous process that will afford me both pleasure and pain.

There was a point a few years ago that I thought it would never happen, just because I was being a pessimist. But, it was time to get out of that apartment and be a big girl and a big boy. So, we did. However, I am not becoming a stuffy, serious adult just because I own a house now. I am still going to be a silly, obnoxious, pain in the butt; I'll just be one that infects an entire house with her ridiculousness. Be prepared, oh and maybe take a pop by. Mi casa es su casa, but clean up after yourself.

I can't stop laughing!

I recently found a website using StumbleUpon that has been cracking me up. It is called WhenParentsText and people send in the random conversations they have with their parents via text message. Some parents know how to text message and some are just winging it, and it is funny.

My parents just purchased a text message plan on their phones and barely use it, unlike me, who sent and received 4,116 texts last month. (In my defense, it was a busy month.) It used to cost them 25 cents to send or receive a text message, so every time I sent them a message they would yell at me for spending their money.

Now, my mother just texts her friend from work and my father barely uses it at all. They are not familiar with the tool. So, when I read the text messages that are posted on WhenParentsText I hear my mother's and father's voices, and then I laugh hysterically. I think this is exactly how it will be when they start to text me. I cannot wait for the day that they send me something ridiculous so I can submit it to be published.

Some of the funniest texts on WhenParentsText include: 

ME: I have to say mom, that wasn’t your best outfit yesterday. 
MOM: Yeah well at least I’m married and have 4 kids…and a JOB. Don’t take your jealousy out on me. 

Mom: Owls 
Me: Huh? 
Mom: I didn’t text that. Just got out of the shower. My phone is haunted :-( 

Mom: Your check just got here in the mail. What should I do with it? 
Me: What check? 
Mom: Just kidding. Dad told me to write that if I wanted a response. We miss you! 

Me: Miss you 
Dad: HI HONEY NICE TO SEE YOUR VOICE

I am telling you, it is hysterical. So hysterical that I have had to wipe tears from my face a few times from laughing so hard. And, there are so many Harry Potter references that I am afraid that my mother is texting other people's children...

So, give WhenParentsText a visit and let me know if you are overcome with laughter. 

Live to eat, but cook only when necessary

After 30 long years of my life, I have noticed that I am not much of a cook, and unfortunately so has my husband. I read a recipe and follow directions like a champ, but the whole "throw something together" gene was not inherited by me from my father. He has this uncanny ability to find random things in the refrigerator and combine them for a semi-gourmet meal. He can cook his beloved Arroz con Pollo almost blindfolded and I can only boil water and toss a salad. As a half Italian, half Puerto Rican, it is embarrassing.

Now, don't get me wrong, I can make cupcakes from scratch, whip together a frosting without a recipe and bake a souffle, but the entree portion of the meal is just not up to par. The only thing I make without a recipe is garlic chicken cutlets, and I already made them for my parents and they were less than impressed.

And what does "salt and pepper to taste" mean? Why doesn't the recipe just say 1/4 teaspoon of salt and 1/8 teaspoon of pepper? Measurements are easier to read and follow. And, I have tried the Cooking for Dummies books and there aren't any pictures. What good is a cookbook without any pictures?

To be honest, I have made a recipe from Giada's cookbook and that came out great, but I haven't really mastered anything at all. My kids are in trouble...

So, I ask: Is there any advice that you received when you started to cook that you could offer up to us young and culinary-challenged? Please comment.

Living with my parents; two weeks in

After 17 days of living with my parents, we are completely content. On Thursdays and a Wednesday, I cook for everyone and on Friday, we get takeout or go to a restaurant. So far, I made crock pot BBQ ribs, mac and cheese with Dorito crumbles and garlic chicken cutlets. My mother says I need to cook, not to give her a break, but so that I can learn how to cook for my family, when I get one. I agree. I love to eat other people's cooking, but my own, I just muscle through.

One serious bonus of living with my parents is that I see Mister Softee a lot more and I seriously love his products and the dependability of his service. The only problem is that he shows up when I get home from work and before I eat dinner. It ruins my whole meal plan. But, it is delicious and worth the $2.50 I pay for a vanilla cone with chocolate sprinkles. What's better than good ice cream that is delivered to you? I can't think of anything either.

TK has his own set of interests while living here. He compares it to living in a hotel. There are fresh, clean towels every day, dinner on the table every night and breakfast every Saturday and Sunday morning. He is completely satisfied, especially since I prepare lunch for him to take to work every day. He is living the life. I am just afraid he will get used to it...

We had my uncle and aunt visit this weekend and it was great to hang out all day, have our dog here and not have to worry about packing up to go home after a long day. When we got tired, we just put on our pajamas and went to bed. I grew up in a house with my parents, my brother, my maternal grandparents, my mom's five brothers and my mother's sister. I enjoy a full house and when I go home I always feel like I am missing something. At least, for now, I won't feel that way. Right now, I am gaining a lot.