Let Me in Your Brain, Just for a Minute

Sometimes I wish I was a mind reader so that I didn't have to guess what people thought. To wonder what is going on in a person's mind is one of life's great mysteries, but if everything was just laid out for you, what fun would life be?

However, wouldn't it be so much easier if we just knew what a person thought, like when you are fighting with your husband  or wife, or when your friend stops talking to you for no reason, or when someone says they are happy for you but their face says otherwise? It would be so efficient to just jump into their brain and hear their thoughts to know if you should be mad or just patient because they are not good at communicating.

Wouldn't life be much simpler? But, I guess life is complicated and there is not too much we can do about it. Here's to hoping ...

Happy Holidays!

People make such a big deal about saying "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas." How would you like it if people went around saying "Happy Hanukkah" all of December and you celebrated Christmas? It would be like they were ignoring your faith, right? Exactly.

I understand that Christmas is more prominent, but that doesn't make it right to ignore the fact that you are guessing a person's religion when you greet them. In a way, it is like presuming someone is fat instead of pregnant because there is a greater chance that they have put on pounds by eating too much and living a sedentary lifestyle, than by insemination. Maybe that's pushing it, but you get my drift.

This year, Christmas falls within the eight days of Hanukkah, so there is one day when they are both being celebrated at the same time and to say "Happy Holidays" would cover them both. So, why ignore and disrespect an entire religion when all you have to do is change your festive greeting? You can even say "Season's Greetings" if that makes you feel better. It is the "Season of Giving," so give in.

My (Always-Growing) Life List

Over the years, I have created a list of things that I have wanted to do, see or experience. This list will never stop growing as long as I continue living because there are always going to be things I want to know about. The items with red information, I have already accomplished.

1. See the dome of the Sistine Chapel                
2. Dogsled in the area of the Iditarod (will not compete)
3. Swim with dolphins and sting rays (Discovery Cove, 2006)                      
4. Go inside a pyramid
5. Climb a waterfall (Ocho Rios, Jamaica, 2001)
6. See the Grand Canyon and walk on the Skywalk (Las Vegas Trip, 2007)
7. Make Crème Brulee (30 B4 30, 2010)
8. Eat at Tavern on the Green (Sept. 2, 2005)
9. Take a carriage ride around Central Park (Sept. 2, 2005)
10. Ride in a helicopter
11. Ride in a hot air balloon
12. Go whale watching
13. Go white water rafting (Smoky Mountain Outdoors, Sept. 1, 2015)
14. Country line dance after learning the steps (Wildhorse Saloon, June 29, 2010)
15. See the inside of the Oval Office
16. Walk on the Great Wall of China
17. Hike up and down a mountain
18. Ride in a gondola in Italy
19. Visit the Louvre Museum and see the Mona Lisa up close
20. See the Northern Lights, a.k.a. Aurora Borealis (October – March)
21. Pet a penguin (Sea World, 2004)        
22. Attend a real Hawaiian luau (Honeymoon, Sept. 16, 2008)        
23. Learn Italian
24. Learn to tap dance
25. Get married (2008)
26. Have a child (2012 and 2015)          
27. Write a book and have it published
28. Go on an African safari             
29. Experience La Tomatina in Spain (last Wednesday in August)   
30. Drive cross country in an RV
31. Eat at The Lady and Sons in Savannah, GA
32. Visit Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard and take a bike ride
33. Take a train north on the west coast (American Orient Express)
34. See Mount Rushmore in South Dakota
35. See the Crazy Horse Memorial in South Dakota     
36. Take a baking class
37. Throw a penny in the Trevi Fountain in Rome
38. See the sea turtles in the Cayman Islands
39. Visit Australia
40. Drink a cocktail out of a real pineapple (Disney, Aug. 18, 2009)
41. Stay overnight in a castle
42. Go wine tasting in Napa Valley, CA
43. Drive on the Pacific Coast Highway
44. See a Cirque du Soleil show (O, January 2011)
45. Watch the Sunset Celebration at Mallory Square in Key West
46. Eat lobster in Maine (July 28, 2013)
47. Swim in a cavern
48. Swim under a waterfall (Honeymoon, Sept. 18, 2008)
49. Go zip lining (Honeymoon, Sept. 17, 2008)
50. Ride a segway (Disney, 2006)
51. Visit Scotland
52. Enter my artwork in a juried exhibition (May 2011 and February 2012)
53. Visit the Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Factory in Waterbury, Vermont
54. Attend a Tickertape Parade (Giants, February 2008)
55. Swim with manatees
56. Take a picture with a parrot on my shoulder
57. Visit Yellowstone National Park and see geysers
58. Play a round of golf (Spring Lake, July 8, 2009, 9 holes)
59. Take a shower in a stall with shower heads shooting in all directions
60. Go to the NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade (March 17, 2010)
61. Ride in a zorb (Pigeon Forge, TN, July 2, 2010 and Sept. 2, 2015)
62. Go to an auction at Christie’s or Sotheby’s
63. Take a pottery/ceramics class. (SJC, Sept. 24, 2011)
64. Visit Philip Island to see the Penguin Parade
65. See the Conan O'Brien Show (Nov. 1, 2011)
66. Visit the Galapagos Islands and meet animals in their natural habitat
67. Eat Beignets (Walt Disney World, 2015)
68. Soak in hot springs
69. Take a spa vacation
70. Go to Freeport, Maine for the holidays
71. Take a foodie tour
72. Have a sandwich named after me
73. Move to a whole new place (Nov. 7, 2017)
74. Ride the Royal Gorge Cloudscraper in Colorado
75. Become a Disney Passholder (Aug. 25, 2018)
76. Get my Ed.D. or Ph.D.
77. Release baby turtles into the ocean
78. Go on a shopping spree
79. Try acupuncture
80. Leave a 100% tip for a server
81. Attend a film premiere
82. Attend a gay pride event
83. Be an extra in a movie, show, or commercial (Frontrunner Casting, Disney Holiday Special, Nov. 13, 2021)
84. Stay at an all-inclusive resort
85. See a coral reef
86. Make fresh pasta
87. Hug a Redwood Tree
88. Drive a boat
89. Climb a lighthouse

I love the help in The Help

There are movies that entertain and there are movies that make you question who you are and what your place is in this world. The Help is both.

The Help is a movie based on the fictional book of the same name by Katheryn Stockett. It is about the housemaids who raise the children, cook and clean the houses of young white wives and mothers of the 1960s. The way these maids were treated and how black people in general were treated fifty years ago really was deplorable and watching it hurt my heart. I spent most of the movie tearing up or crying. I was truly sad at some points, but I know that is how it really was back then and that really pissed me off.

There are many times in your life where you ask yourself if you are going to let something ethically wrong happen because you are too afraid to act and do what is right. I try to live my life in a way that I don't allow such things to happen in my presence and I try to make people understand why intolerance and racism is wrong, but I can't do it all the time and that is a failure that I have to deal with. After watching this movie, you will ask yourself whether or not you are a good person and what side you would be on, and hopefully you will choose the right, morally sound side because that's the side you should be on.

Next, onto the book.

What I Have Learned So Far...(Item #5)

Today I learned that you shouldn't leave blue painter's tape on too long because if you do, it may rip up the paint underneath it. This paint may also be ceiling paint that the previous owner did not leave behind for you to touch up the ceiling with.

What I Have Learned So Far...(Item #4)

Today I learned that you should learn how to use a steam cleaner correctly. If you do not, you might create puddles all over your floor or soak your pajamas. Also, learn how to use the attachments so that you do not have to lift up the whole device to clean your couch and hurt your back.

What I Have Learned So Far...(Item #3)

Today I found out that you should blow dry your hair with the door closed or away from the door if your smoke detector is right outside of the bathroom. If you don't, the smoke alarm will go off because of the hot air coming out of your dryer and scare you and your dog in the early morning.

What I Have Learned So Far...(Item #2)

Something else that I found out as a homeowner is to learn how to load the dishwasher correctly. If you don't, you may put the knives in with the blade facing up and stab yourself in the wrist while trying to put the spoons or forks in.

Happy 31st Birthday to Me!

Today I turn 31. 31. I don't even like the sound of it. It is both an odd and a prime number. However, I was told at a bar recently that I look 23 and the person "would have never guessed I was even close to 30." Ah, the wonder of face cream and good genes.

I don't mind aging because it shows that I survived yet another year on this earth without a bus hitting me or suffering from bad sushi. But, I do mind people saying that my clock is ticking, I am not getting any younger, etc. I think my life is just getting started. I am not over any sort of hill yet. This may be a year of BIG changes though; with the whole new house and all. Ya never know. I guess you will have to stay tuned to see what kind of excitement, madness or stupidity ensue.

What I Have Learned So Far...(Item #1)

Now that I am a homeowner and living in my house, there are have been "learning experiences" or mistakes that made me flip out or get hurt and taught me not to do them again. From now on, I will share my newly acquired knowledge with you so that you can learn from my many mistakes.

First thing I learned is that you should not label paint cans by sight. You should actually paint little squares on the wall to see which paint is correct for that room. If not, you will have to stay up until 3:15 a.m. painting an entire room a new shade of tan. 

My New Tattoo

On June 29, 2003 the person who I bonded with most died. It has been eight years since that day and it still feels like it happened yesterday. Before her death, I would sit in my car and cry because I was afraid of what would happen when that day came. I even found myself having those feelings after her death and reminding myself that she is already gone. Now, I get upset sometimes when I think about my parents or TK dying before me. I am more afraid of other people dying than I am of dying myself.

So, in honor of my grandmother, her death and who she was to me, I got a tattoo. I am sure she would hate the idea if she was alive, but she isn't so she can't argue with me about it. This tattoo is my second (after my Hidden Mickey two years ago) and I got it on July 3. It is a tribal elephant that I found online. It is the symbol for an African tribe that I had customized. The trunk was down, but I needed it up because down is bad luck and up is good luck. The elephant was my grandmother's favorite animal and it is a symbol of royalty and grace. She had elephants on everything; nightgowns, blankets, coffee mugs...you name it, she had it. My mother even made me a little pillow out of a piece of her favorite elephant blanket.

When I had finally printed out the symbol and decided what I wanted, I asked Danielle at Michael Angelo Ink, to draw in my grandmother's initials (Gloria Dolores Sirico = G.D.S.) and she did a great job. It is on my lower back hip, just below my pant line, and it is in all black. It took about 45 minutes from start to finish, but it seemed pretty fast. It hurt more than my first one, which I thought was odd because there is more chunk on my hip than on my ribcage, but I love it and I love that I can honor her every day of my life with this symbolic artwork.

I have said that I would get this tattoo since I got my other one, and I finally did it. I guess it just goes to show that I do what I say I am going to do and sometimes you have to go through some pain to prove your love. I guess I am one for bold statements and am committed, or should be committed. Either one.

Melissa = Homeowner (YAY!)

We closed on our house at the end of last week and now we are "homeowners." It took us three years to get into the position to buy a home, but we got here and are very happy with our purchase. And, honestly, to be able to buy a house on Long Island is a pretty big feat in itself.

The house is a good size for us. It has three bedrooms, one bathroom, a large kitchen, a garage and a 3/4 of an acre of property. There's always the option to expand, up or out...ya know, if we ever have those kids that people have been asking me about for the past three years.

Since we got the keys, we have been working on getting it where we want it. It may not seem like a lot, but we have rooms to paint, a back-splash to install, a fence to put up and TVs to hang. It may seem like only a few things but it is already exhausting and expensive, and I have only been moving things in and painting so far. However, I am fully aware that this is a long and arduous process that will afford me both pleasure and pain.

There was a point a few years ago that I thought it would never happen, just because I was being a pessimist. But, it was time to get out of that apartment and be a big girl and a big boy. So, we did. However, I am not becoming a stuffy, serious adult just because I own a house now. I am still going to be a silly, obnoxious, pain in the butt; I'll just be one that infects an entire house with her ridiculousness. Be prepared, oh and maybe take a pop by. Mi casa es su casa, but clean up after yourself.

I can't stop laughing!

I recently found a website using StumbleUpon that has been cracking me up. It is called WhenParentsText and people send in the random conversations they have with their parents via text message. Some parents know how to text message and some are just winging it, and it is funny.

My parents just purchased a text message plan on their phones and barely use it, unlike me, who sent and received 4,116 texts last month. (In my defense, it was a busy month.) It used to cost them 25 cents to send or receive a text message, so every time I sent them a message they would yell at me for spending their money.

Now, my mother just texts her friend from work and my father barely uses it at all. They are not familiar with the tool. So, when I read the text messages that are posted on WhenParentsText I hear my mother's and father's voices, and then I laugh hysterically. I think this is exactly how it will be when they start to text me. I cannot wait for the day that they send me something ridiculous so I can submit it to be published.

Some of the funniest texts on WhenParentsText include: 

ME: I have to say mom, that wasn’t your best outfit yesterday. 
MOM: Yeah well at least I’m married and have 4 kids…and a JOB. Don’t take your jealousy out on me. 

Mom: Owls 
Me: Huh? 
Mom: I didn’t text that. Just got out of the shower. My phone is haunted :-( 

Mom: Your check just got here in the mail. What should I do with it? 
Me: What check? 
Mom: Just kidding. Dad told me to write that if I wanted a response. We miss you! 

Me: Miss you 
Dad: HI HONEY NICE TO SEE YOUR VOICE

I am telling you, it is hysterical. So hysterical that I have had to wipe tears from my face a few times from laughing so hard. And, there are so many Harry Potter references that I am afraid that my mother is texting other people's children...

So, give WhenParentsText a visit and let me know if you are overcome with laughter. 

Live to eat, but cook only when necessary

After 30 long years of my life, I have noticed that I am not much of a cook, and unfortunately so has my husband. I read a recipe and follow directions like a champ, but the whole "throw something together" gene was not inherited by me from my father. He has this uncanny ability to find random things in the refrigerator and combine them for a semi-gourmet meal. He can cook his beloved Arroz con Pollo almost blindfolded and I can only boil water and toss a salad. As a half Italian, half Puerto Rican, it is embarrassing.

Now, don't get me wrong, I can make cupcakes from scratch, whip together a frosting without a recipe and bake a souffle, but the entree portion of the meal is just not up to par. The only thing I make without a recipe is garlic chicken cutlets, and I already made them for my parents and they were less than impressed.

And what does "salt and pepper to taste" mean? Why doesn't the recipe just say 1/4 teaspoon of salt and 1/8 teaspoon of pepper? Measurements are easier to read and follow. And, I have tried the Cooking for Dummies books and there aren't any pictures. What good is a cookbook without any pictures?

To be honest, I have made a recipe from Giada's cookbook and that came out great, but I haven't really mastered anything at all. My kids are in trouble...

So, I ask: Is there any advice that you received when you started to cook that you could offer up to us young and culinary-challenged? Please comment.

Living with my parents; two weeks in

After 17 days of living with my parents, we are completely content. On Thursdays and a Wednesday, I cook for everyone and on Friday, we get takeout or go to a restaurant. So far, I made crock pot BBQ ribs, mac and cheese with Dorito crumbles and garlic chicken cutlets. My mother says I need to cook, not to give her a break, but so that I can learn how to cook for my family, when I get one. I agree. I love to eat other people's cooking, but my own, I just muscle through.

One serious bonus of living with my parents is that I see Mister Softee a lot more and I seriously love his products and the dependability of his service. The only problem is that he shows up when I get home from work and before I eat dinner. It ruins my whole meal plan. But, it is delicious and worth the $2.50 I pay for a vanilla cone with chocolate sprinkles. What's better than good ice cream that is delivered to you? I can't think of anything either.

TK has his own set of interests while living here. He compares it to living in a hotel. There are fresh, clean towels every day, dinner on the table every night and breakfast every Saturday and Sunday morning. He is completely satisfied, especially since I prepare lunch for him to take to work every day. He is living the life. I am just afraid he will get used to it...

We had my uncle and aunt visit this weekend and it was great to hang out all day, have our dog here and not have to worry about packing up to go home after a long day. When we got tired, we just put on our pajamas and went to bed. I grew up in a house with my parents, my brother, my maternal grandparents, my mom's five brothers and my mother's sister. I enjoy a full house and when I go home I always feel like I am missing something. At least, for now, I won't feel that way. Right now, I am gaining a lot.

Words can't explain, but I will try anyway

I am at work today; the same place where Jessica left in an ambulance on Friday. She was hemorrhaging from what we now know was a placental abruption. She was frightened and in pain.

I received notice from her husband Jon hours later, while walking into my in-laws' house, notifying me that they had lost both baby girls and that Jessica was being transferred to Stony Brook Medical Center. I just covered my mouth and stood in the driveway staring at my phone and sobbing. My heart sank because I felt so awful for them and knew what they had gone through just to get to this point, this awful point.

Through all 35 weeks of her pregnancy, Jessica confided in me with text messages immediately after visiting the doctor or conversations after having a sonogram. It was like I battled through it all with her and these babies became a part of my life as well. Maybe it is a selfish way of thinking, but since Jessica considered me her "work husband" I felt like I was on Team Decatur for the past eight months. I wanted to make sure she had a support system while she was in the office and away from her family and friends. Pregnancy is rough, not to mention a high risk pregnancy with other health complications factoring in. And, oh boy did they factor in. The whole journey was rough for her. Some days were easier than others, but it was a struggle that I saw firsthand for eight hours a day.

So Friday, when I saw her upset, bleeding and worried, I knew something was definitely wrong, but I kept saying, "It will be OK." I hate that I kept telling her that now because it wasn't OK and it wasn't going to be OK, but what else could I say to a distressed pregnant woman who I just called an ambulance for? I had to say something to calm her nerves, but I knew I wasn't convincing anyone.

Today I am back at work and not able to focus on any tasks because all I keep thinking about is my boss/friend who is in the Critical Care Unit at Stony Brook Medical Center. I just feel so bad for her and her family and what they are going through. She is in and out of surgeries and Jon is right by her side. I can't even begin to know how she is feeling or pretend to know what to say.

Now, I just wait for updates and try to do whatever it is I can for her and her family. I have been updating our mutual friends and colleagues all weekend and will continue to do so, in order for her to not have to talk about it or explain it to anyone. I just feel so helpless because there is nothing I can do or say to make it any better, but anything that I feel pales in comparison to any emotion that she and her family are feeling. I just hope her condition improves and she can return home to see her little boy that misses his mommy right about now.

My heart breaks...but their hearts are broken.

We are moved in!

It took an entire week and we still have a few items left in our apartment, but we are all moved into my parents' house. I didn't realize how much stuff we accumulated over 5 years. We filled the POD and there are boxes all over my parents' house. We have clothes in every closet of the house and instead of looking through every closet to find outfits for work, I have decided to wear my mother's clothes. All of her clothes are in one closet, so it is just easier.

While we were trying to move our bed to the upstairs bedroom, the box spring wouldn't fit up the steps. So, my parents were willing to get a saw and chop off the post of the bannister. I actually had to talk them out of it. I appreciate the thought, but there was no need for them to ruin their bannister for a one month stay. It eventually fit upstairs anyway.

So far, so good. TK is ecstatic that he had pancakes for breakfast, pizza for lunch and macaroni for dinner today. It doesn't take much to please us.

Is it weird that I'm excited?

As we make moves to buy a house, our next move is to abandon the apartment we've been living in for 5 years and take all of our stuff to my parents' house for about a month and a half. A large amount of our stuff is currently sitting in a 16-foot POD on my parents' driveway. TK and I are going to stay with my parents' while we take the necessary steps to buy a house and save some money in the process.

But, is it weird that I am excited to move in with my parents again? I have fun with them and TK is preparing for movie nights and take out Fridays. It seems like he is more excited than I am, and they aren't even his parents.

My mother decided that, when we move in, I have to cook one dinner a week. TK is convinced that it has to be something that I have never cooked before, so I have decided that they are all in for a world of hurt and nausea. We will see how this goes. I may have to blog about this entire experience because it is not every day that a 30-year-old woman and her 35-year-old husband move in with her parents and cohabitate for a month or more. Stay tuned for the madness that might ensue. I am just hoping to not get kicked out for suggesting too many pajama nights watching "Country Strong" or "Green Lantern." Who am I kidding? On a regular Saturday afternoon, I might find my dad watching "Mean Girls" or "First Daughter" on Showtime. We might be the breath of fresh air that their household needs...or not. Like I said, we'll see.

Trying to Buy My Piece of This Earth

After a long time preparing, TK and I are finally ready to buy a house. A few weeks ago, we went to look at three houses and we found one that we liked. I know what you are thinking, "Only three?" We know that people usually look at dozens of houses before they finally choose one that they like, but that wasn't the case with us. We are the kind of people that go to a car dealership and leave with a car, well TK is at least. The first house we looked at was "the one" so we wasted no time before putting in an offer and showing it to our family.

This house is only a few blocks away from where we are now and everything in it is brand new. It is a flipped property that the seller took great time and devotion to renovate. It has a great kitchen, which I really like and a huge yard, which TK really loves. Currently, we are knee-deep in the home-buying process, but nothing is set in stone yet and we are trying not to get our hopes up, but it is hard not to.

This is a pretty big deal for us and I am pretty nervous about it because I want it to happen and I don't have the best luck. The last big thing we bought was our car and that was last year and less than a tenth of the price. Anything can still happen to make the deal fall through and I am just hoping that nothing does.

One small bonus of buying a house is that I get to finally use the gifts that all my family and friends bought us for my bridal shower and our engagement. All I keep thinking about is my Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer that is still in its box and how I would like to be able to conquer any of Ina Garten's recipes because they all require a stand mixer. However, I will have to replace all of the spices in my spice rack because they have all since expired.

So now I watch HGTV and actually scan Lowe's circulars with my fingers crossed and butterflies in my stomach. And, I am not sure if I should be praying to God or St. Joseph, the supposed patron saint of house-hunting...but, I may do both.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Social Nerdiness in San Fran

After 5 years of service to my employer, I finally was able to go to a fully-funded out-of-state conference. From Tuesday to Friday I was in San Francisco for the CASE Social Media & Community Conference and had a great time. Well, despite my flight from NY to Chicago that was so turbulent that the flight attendants couldn't serve hot beverages for fear of burning the passengers.

I wasn't able to really see any sites, but I was able to take a visit to the Yerba Buena Gardens, where they have an Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial, and the SF MOMA store to buy a couple postcards and a paintbrush/pencil that I thought was genius. Unfortunately, the museum is closed on Wednesdays so I couldn't see any art. Also, SCVNGR had a trek set up for the conference that included some of these sites. I finished in tenth place for the trek challenges and received 10% off a SCVNGR license for my institution, which may come in useful if I can convince someone to actually use it.

The conference was really informative and fun. I met a lot of people from all over the country, Australia, France and Canada. Everyone was very friendly and welcoming, which was very refreshing. I know too well how people in my industry can be very snobby, but that wasn't the case here (Get it, CASE? Anyway.). A lot of the people that I met I am now connected to on Twitter, which helps us keep in touch and exchange useful information, which I fully intend to do.

Every day included an interesting session on a different aspect of social media, as it related to higher education. I have a notepad full of notes from every session because I didn't want to forget anything that I learned, and I managed to steal about nine Westin pens.

On the second day of the conference, we were all broken up into 10 groups of about 10-12 people. Some attendees bailed on this activity, but I am glad that I did not. We each got a topic that we had to create a social media campaign around. My group (#6), whose theme was a spaceship launch, ended up having the best campaign and won the People's Choice Award that all of the attendees and judges voted on. I was really proud because we had some really great ideas, we worked well together and a video that was included in the campaign was of me pretending to be Dr. Melissa Kuehnle, professor of mechanical engineering (I know it's a stretch). So, I got to take home a Starbucks gift card for our big win. You can see our fake university and social media campaign by visiting any of these sites: Facebook, Twitter and web. I was on my laptop, Facebook, Twitter and iPhone the entire conference, as was everyone else. I was surrounded by my people: the social nerds.

After three days in San Francisco learning, interacting and creating, I was exhausted but I was so glad that my flight home on Virgin America was very pleasant, and I was able to watch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. No better way to finish off my nerdy week!

Thank you to everyone that planned, taught and attended the conference. It was a great experience that I hope to repeat next year. 

"Quien es ese nina? Who's that girl?"

My mother called me a media star, Alyson asked if I was out signing autographs and TK asked if he should be worried that I might leave him; all because I was in Newsday for one day (Page A32 to be exact) and in a Long Island Advance article back in March. People are funny.

Don't get me wrong, I thought being in the paper was pretty cool, especially when it was about organizing a visit by Governor Cuomo and my use of social media. In high school I was in the paper for hitting a two run double to win the game, but back then there were so many people with Gonzalez as a last name that no one was really sure if it was me or not. Now, everyone knows that Melissa Kuehnle is me because my married name is so unique. It is SO different that no one knows how to pronounce it or can remember how to spell it. It used to be a piece of cake and not it is more like a piece of sfogliatelle (an Italian pastry that looks like a lobster tail).

In March I was in the Long Island Advance because I planned a visit by NYS Governor Andrew Cuomo in 4 days. It was a pretty big deal and not because I thought so. Then last week, my face was in Newsday with my Twitter handle (@Melissa_Kue) as "One to Follow" on Long Island. The web listing can be found on http://www.newsday.com/followli. The funny thing about the Twitter piece is that my personal Twitter account (@Mel_K) has more followers, but I appreciate the mention and effort to get more people to pay attention to the nonsense I post.

Even though my mom yelled at me for not smiling in one of the photos, all in all, I am proud to have my face in the paper, because after all:
"You get your picture in the papes, you're famous. You're famous, you get anything you want. And that's what's so great about New York!" - Newsies, 1992

Go Team Thickness!

When TK told me that he would take me on a fully-funded weekend road trip if I got to my goal weight, I thought, "Awesome!" Then I looked in the mirror and thought, "Uh oh." The road trip won't be the only journey in my future.

I believe I need to lose somewhere around 25 pounds...give or take a pound. Notice I said, "I believe." The reason for this is because I know how I look fat and skinny and in between, and I know what people say to me to be nice, which I appreciate. I've heard the, "You don't need to lose weight; you're curvy." And also, "Maybe a few pounds would be good." Even though these people were being nice and all, for me, a few pounds would not be good enough. I just think that this is not the best version of me, so I need to make a change...a BIG one.

Now, I will not be holding up a pair of pants to show you the difference in sizes or take before and after photos like they ask you to do when you begin P90X. I would rather explain the process in words instead of pictures, which is the complete opposite of what everyone wants. However, I am sure that people will be able to see the difference in fatness from my dozens of Facebook photos.

I am going into this diet and fitness plan with a positive view of the present and the future. I am happy with the person I am on the inside, but I am not satisfied with the package I am putting out there...and the outside is easier to change.

None of this process will be extreme, so please do not think there will be an eating disorder or plastic surgery or diet pills. I am with it enough to know that these things will not work for me, especially since I got heart palpitations from Hydroxycut eight years ago and have also not been pregnant yet (and we all know how much your body changes after a baby takes up shop in there).

So far I am down two pounds in a week and went to the gym twice, which was all I could fit in last week. I am hoping to hit the gym three times a week or more, depending on my schedule, and maybe take some classes because I love yoga, zumba and pilates. I haven't tried spinning yet and would really like to eventually, without dying. I have a 5K coming at the end of the month that I am half-running (this is what I call running with walking intervals included) for penguins, so I would also like to not die from that either. As for dieting, I have been eating a lot of raw fruits and vegetables, whole grain, chicken and fish. I have tried my hardest to stop eating baked goods, candy, fried food and burgers, all of my favorites. I also gave up soda for Lent, and it has been rough, but I am sticking with it Jesus!

Now that I am dieting, I do have some limits to my healthy food eating. For instance, I will not eat oatmeal or cottage cheese because they look like someone already ate them and spit them out. I will eat a salad with a some substance, not just leaves. I will eat protein bars with chocolate and peanut butter in them. And, sometimes, one bite is enough, no matter how delicious the lasagna is (Mmmmm).

Oh, and did I mention I just started this whole thing a week ago? BIG plans. BIG. HUGE.

Go Team Thickness!

Best in Film

The best thing about movies is that they transport you and your imagination to a place you never thought you could go, but the funny thing is, maybe Spielberg or Lucas always thought you could. Films can help you forget the stressful, drab or uneventful life that you live, without having to change who you are. But sometimes you are changed because the movies teach you something or tap into an interest you didn't know you had or develop a playful crush with a person you didn't know existed. All I am saying is that movies have the ability to transform and transport you.

As I watch "Best in Film: The Greatest Movies of Our Time" hosted by ABC News and People Magazine, I countdown along with Tom Bergeron and Cynthia McFadden the best in comedy, animation, action, musicals, science-fiction, kisses, characters, thrillers and lines. I've seen a number of the movies listed and honestly agree with most of the movies mentioned. If you missed the special, lucky for you...I've copied the list below and the titles in red are the movies that I've seen:

Comedies

5. Tootsie

4. Young Frankenstein

3. Some Like it Hot

2. Monty Python

1. Airplane

(Two drag movies which just proves that people, or just celebrities, think that cross-dressing is funny.)

Sci-Fi

5. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Originally created by Spielberg at 16 years-old)

4. The Matrix

3. Avatar (Will have two sequels in the near future.)

2. ET (Influenced the future of product placement with Reese’s Pieces.)

1. Star Wars (All six Star Wars movies will be released on Blu-Ray this summer and it should break all kinds of records.)

Musicals

5. West Side Story

4. Singin’ in the Rain (Gene Kelly was amazing and had a 103 degree fever during the famous rain scene.)

3. The Wizard of Oz (This was my favorite movie as a small child.)

2. Grease (This replaced the former as my favorite movie as I grew older.)

1. The Sound of Music (Real family that boarded a train to escape the Nazis and didn’t actually climb the Alps. Also, they own a resort and brewery in Vermont.)

Kisses

5. Casablanca (Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman)

4. An Officer and a Gentleman (Richard Gere & Debra Winger)

3. Lady and the Tramp (I love that cartoon dogs made the list.)

2. From Here to Eternity (Burt Lancaster & Deborah Kerr)

1. Gone with the Wind (Clark Gable & Vivian Leigh)

Lines

5. “Here’s looking at you kid.” – Humphrey Bogart, Casablanca

4. “I’ll have what she’s having.” – Rob Reiner’s Mom, When Harry Met Sally

3. “I’m gonna make him an offer that he can’t refuse.” – Marlon Brando, The Godfather

2. “Go ahead, make my day.” – Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry

1. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” – Clark Gable, Gone with the Wind

Action

5. Gladiator

4. Die Hard

3. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Went 11 for 11 at the Oscars.)

2. The Dark Knight

1. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Thriller/Suspense

5. Pulp Fiction (For some reason, I hate this movie.)

4. The Shining

3. Psycho

2. Jaws (I wouldn't swim in my above ground pool after seeing this movie. How would a shark get there?)

1. Silence of the Lambs

Animated

5. Fantasia (People think this movie is boring, but to an artist or a movie lover, it is amazing.)

4. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Started the princess fantasy.)

3. Beauty and the Beast (Reinvented the princess fantasy.)

2. Toy Story

1. The Lion King

(Are you surprised that I have seen all these? All Disney!)

Characters

5. Indiana Jones

4. Hannibal Lecter

3. Scarlett O’Hara

2. James Bond (Unfortunately, I haven't seen them all.)

1. Forrest Gump (Hanks is a genius.)

BEST EVER

5. ET (I thought it was pretty cool when ET said my name on the ride at Universal Studios.)

4. Casablanca

3. The Godfather (My mom looks like Talia Shire.)

2. The Wizard of Oz

1. Gone with the Wind (Largest set ever built and burned.)

That's the televised list and as you can see, there are a number of amazing films that I have missed over the years. Maybe it is because I have never had a long recovery from a surgery or the flu or been bed-ridden. If I had, I would have seen all of these movies and tons more, but there's always the Red Box and Amazon.com.

So I ask, do you agree with the movies they have listed?

*To find more categories and see clips of the movies, visit: http://www.abcnews.com/bestinfilm. 

I finally did it!

After my whole 30 B4 30 project, I was able to get two pieces of artwork framed nicely with a thick, plain black frame. I always wanted to enter my artwork in an exhibit or have my own show featuring all of my drawings and paintings from throughout the years. I always thought it would happen before I turned 30, but instead, TK hung the artwork in our apartment so they could be on display for the several people who have actually been to our apartment in the last few months. Not the same effect, but recently, one of the pieces had to come down and get bubble wrapped.

I entered "Bacchanal" into the Patchogue Arts Council's Juried Member Show that will be up from March 21 - May 22, 2011 in the Callahan Library on the Long Island Campus of St. Joseph's College. Thankfully, I only had to go a couple blocks to drop the piece off, and I know the area ;).

Today (on the first day of the show), like a huge dork, I went to go see my piece and it is currently hanging on the wall in the library with a few other black and white pieces. The show includes textiles, sculpture, paintings and drawings. I have no idea who created them all yet, but I will get to meet the artists at a reception next month. I find it interesting that a drawing of dozens of nude figures named after an orgy is hanging in a library named after a nun. Just a thought I had. Hmmm...

Honestly though, art is a big deal to me. I love creating it. I love looking at it. I love reading about it and I love visiting it. I just love it so much that I studied art and got a degree in it and a minor certificate in the history of it. So, I guess that means I am kind of an expert, right? I do consider myself an artist even though I don't get paid to create actual art every day. I get paid to write, plan and promote, but I don't get paid to write this blog, unfortunately. Maybe one day...and maybe one day I will have my own art exhibit featuring me. It will happen. I just hope it doesn't take another 30 years.

Am I smarter with my smartphone?

In 2009 I purchased the iPhone 3G (which is considered vintage now) and since then, it has been attached to me. And, the ironic thing is that I really don't like talking on the phone all that much. Texting though, that's where it's at.

I think there is something to say about limitless knowledge in a little box with rounded edges. The iPhone gives me answers to my questions with the swipe of a finger and the tap of a fingertip. There are just things that my iPhone can do that most of my friends and my own brain cannot, and that's rough for me to confess. For instance, I have settled many a bet with my Google application. I've found out the names of random songs on the radio using Shazam. And, I've converted currency with Oanda and learned bad words in Italian on iTranslate; all for no reason at all. But, the actual reason I do all this is because I can. I have the ability to do whatever 8 gigs and my AT&T connection allow me to do, and I plan on getting the most out of my $90 voice and data plan.

The only problem with having an iPhone is that I am always connected. I can't use the excuse that I couldn't get to a computer or a phone. I have both. Fortunately, I can say that my battery died or my phone was on vibrate, and be telling the truth...most of the time. (Did I mention I don't really like talking on the phone?)

Now that my friends realize how cool the iPhone is and how much I use it, they have actually gone ahead, made the purchase and entered the technological land of no return. And, as they travel to this land, I have become their iPhone ambassador. I have earned a burrito and a pick 2 at Panera Bread for my iPhone tutelage. I showed them how to use the phone, some of the features and recommended useful or fun apps, and I believe this was all very meal-worthy. Similar to a man, the way to my brain is through my stomach, so I am willing to help anyone who purchases an iPhone and needs help using it. After all, there are cheeseburgers, ice cream and waffles left to eat.

Now, what about that iPhone 5?

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

This is my favorite part of the year. It is the part when I start planning a vacation with the hotel and the flights already booked. So, I know I am definitely scheduled to hit the road.

In August my family and I will be heading to Walt Disney World. For me it will be the 14th time I have traveled to my second favorite place on this great planet we call Earth (My first is Hawaii. It was sick and I am going back in 2012.). I just love going to Disney because it is just so much fun and I can be as immature as I want with little or no repercussions. For example, in WDW as an adult, I have:

• Seen my father, husband, cousin and uncle in costume on a hot summer day
  
• Eaten an ice cream pop while having it drip down my arm
  
• Skipped leisurely through Fantasyland
• Strapped a stuffed Mickey Mouse tour guide to my backpack and listened to him give tips and advice throughout the day
• Raced through Epcot barefoot in the rain to get to a dinner reservation on time
• Eaten an ice cream sundae named The Kitchen Sink after partaking in a seafood buffet (three family members got sick, one quit and TK and I sipped the remaining liquid through a straw to finish it)
• Worn a Goofy pirate hat
• Sang "It's a Small World" with a British accent like Zazu from The Lion King
  

Yea, I have no shame and apparently, no boundaries. I think living this way allows you to really, truly experience what fun is. So, let your guard down and have a great time...even if you need to pay Mickey a visit in order to do so...I'll even send you a sample itinerary.

What happens in Vegas...

After a long weekend in Vegas, I am pretty tired...still. It was a four-day weekend with a lot to do. We started our journey off by flying Southwest from Long Island to Chicago to Las Vegas; all eight of us. Come to think of it, the only luck I had the entire weekend was when the flight attendant forgot to ask me to pay for the two glasses of wine I drank on the flight there.

When we arrived at Mandalay Bay, we changed and headed to one of the bars in the hotel called Eyecandy Lounge. It was pretty late when we arrived, so this lounge was convenient. After a few drinks and even more laughs, we finally crashed. The next morning we woke up and a few of us headed to the breakfast buffet. Las Vegas is the land of the ultra abundant buffet, but TK and I only gave the one at Mandalay a try. After we rounded up the troops, we all headed to the Hofbräuhaus, which is a Bavarian beer garden/hall that also has an ever-popular location in Munich, Germany. They serve their namesake beer by the liter or 1/2 liter (if you are feeling more weak and less German) and it is delicious. They also serve and decorate with pretzels as big as your head. I love restaurants with a theme and this was my favorite part of the trip.

After leaving the Hofbräuhaus, we headed over to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, which was diagonally across the street. There were rock artifacts speckled throughout the lobby area and the dimmed lighting and variety of shops and restaurants made this hotel/casino seem very naughty, but I guess that's rock n roll so, they got it right. We went back to the hotel to get ready for the Cirque du Soleil show. We all got pretty decked out and headed to the Bellagio for O. The acrobats in the show had insane musculature and it was a great show. However, after seeing show after show on Broadway and at Disney, I thought $117 would provide a little something more. The flips, dives and back bends were impressive, but a lot of the characters were creepy, which is pretty customary for a Cirque show. I did love the artistry of the colors, costumes and makeup. After the show, some of us headed over to the Venetian for a couple drinks at their V Bar and Tao Asian Bistro. It was not a late night, so we headed back pretty early and stopped at an In and Out Burger for a snack (of course we did).

On Saturday, we decided to head over to New York New York to ride the roller coaster. It was fun but I am not sure $15 was worth the minute and a half it took to ride. After the coaster, I played three songs of Dance Dance Revolution in the arcade, got sweaty for no reason and then headed over to a pub called Nine Fine Irishmen. It's a traditional Irish pub with padded bar stools and draught beers. Afterward, we hopped in a cab and headed over to the Yard House. TK and I visited one in Arizona and loved it, so we wanted everyone else to see what was so go great about it. The food was good and the beer was even better. They have over 100 beers on tap and I was able to eat a burger with lobster and asparagus on it. I like the ability to try something new every time we visit a Yard House because the selection of food and drink differs at each location. We then stopped at the Luxor and Colleen and I walked back over to Mandalay and the Minus 5 Ice Bar. They gave us coats and gloves and then guided us into the bar/refrigerator for our experience. It was freezing but we enjoyed ordering a drink at a bar made of ice, drinking a cocktail out of a cup made of ice and sitting on animal fur so our rears didn't stick to the bench that was, you guessed it, made of ice. There were ice sculptures, ice chandeliers and pink and blue lights shining through all of the ice architecture around us. It was pretty unique and we learned that people don't normally stay longer than 20 minutes, and neither did we.

That night we all got dressed up again and headed to dinner at Little Buddha at The Palms Casino Resort. It was our fancy dinner of the weekend and we enjoyed the food and the ambiance of red, purple and black velvet with fine silk accents. It felt very luxurious, until I started popping edamame out of the pods and the spices lit my mouth on fire. That was a little rough because I don't really do spicy, but the lettuce wraps that Colleen and Leslie ordered were delicious. After walking around The Palms and not liking the snootiness we felt just being there, we decided to go back to New York New York. Since we couldn't get into the dueling piano bar, we headed across the way and hung out at a steakhouse and enjoyed some conversation.

The next day was all about football. We started watching pre-game coverage at the PBR Rock Bar at the Miracle Mile in Planet Hollywood. Dan had a burger inside an enormous onion ring, TK had macaroni and cheese with crushed up Doritos in it and I got to taste cole slaw sprinkled with Pop Rocks...this was all after I ate a Belgian waffle and half of a chocolate chip pancake. I guess I was hungry. Unfortunately, we didn't ride the mechanical bull before we headed over to Blondies for the playoff games. We enjoyed their wings but we did not enjoy the Jets loss. That was a rough one for our entire group. We drowned our sorrows, or just made it worse, by gambling back at the hotel before heading to bed to prepare for our departure the next day.

Some of us lost and some of us won, but all 10 of us had the chance to bond and spend a long weekend together. Even if one of us had a leg brace, one spent the night in a bathtub, one needed to go to Gamblers Anonymous, one dressed as a rock star, one was the star of stage and screen and one belted out the words to Be Our Guest in public...we all had fun together as a group, and that's what really mattered.

Until next year...

Big Plans for This New Year

I am not the biggest fan of odd numbers, but I think that 2011 might bring me a lot of new and exciting things. First and foremost, I plan on keeping my self-respect and fire so that I can still be called difficult and never weak or naive. So there.

Now for the rest of the year, I have a few trips planned because new experiences are what keep me inspired. This month, I will be heading to Las Vegas for the third time in my life to tear it up with my friends. I've been there for a bachelorette party and with my family, but never with friends. We are all VERY excited. I will be going to see my first expensive Cirque du Soleil show, O, while we are there. The next trip I have planned is for work. I will be attending a conference in San Francisco on "Social Media and Community." The subject matter is very interesting to me, which you can probably see if you are friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter. I am always down to learn new things, and if a world famous chocolate shop is down the street (Ghirardelli), I am certainly interested in traveling across the map to learn about whatever you want to teach me. The last trip I have penned in the datebook is to the one and only Walt Disney World and then Orlando, Florida. I will be away for two weeks with my family. I have been apart from Mickey for too long, even though normal people will say I was just there in 2009. I just love it there because I can break out in song randomly or skip down the street or dance to the music in my head, and no one cares! They just think, "She's feeling the magic," and they are right. The second week of our trip will be dedicated to golf, shopping, dining and Sea World, I think. For us, the second week is spent recuperating from the prior week of go, go, go at Disney. Also, speckled within the year will probably be a couple random weekend road trips with TK to see the states that don't require a plane or train to get to. This is only the beginning of the excitement.

This year, I would also like for TK and I to buy a home. We are outgrowing our current home and I would like to be able to use my Kitchenaid mixer and some of the other items I received for my bridal shower two years ago. It just frosts my cupcakes that all of our stuff is still in their boxes and that I will probably have to replace all of the spices on my spice rack because they are probably expired. I would love a place with a large kitchen and a nice little nook for me to draw, read or write. Ahhhh, that would be lovely. Some other bonuses would be a nice bathtub for frequent soaks and a fireplace to cuddle up in front of, but I won't hold my breath.

Another idea for this year is a possible baby bump...but don't get too excited! I am just considering it. I don't want anyone spreading any rumors or putting a December 31st deadline on me. Kids change your life forever and I like to sleep, so this is a big decision that I don't need anyone making for me. Since September 13, 2008 (the day after getting married) I have been asked about pregnancy. It is so strange that pregnancy is frowned upon until the day you get married, and then the day after it's like GAME ON! That's a lot of pressure. But, I would like to have a kid before I have to worry about being old and having complications. Right now I have a prescription for prenatal vitamins in my pocketbook. It is haunting me and I am not sure how I feel about it, especially since people talk about morning sickness, weight gain, hormones, mood swings and how your vagina is never the same. I may have to reconsider this whole situation. I'll get back to you.

So, that is what 2011 has in store for me, well, I hope. Watch, I'll reread this on December 31, 2011 and laugh at how wrong I was or, I will peer at it over a huge belly with a bowl of Chubby Hubby ice cream perched on top of it. Either one.

My Hair is a Person

You will notice that I have curly hair from the first second you meet me. People who have to explain who I am usually say, "Melissa is the one with the curly hair." It's just that obvious. It's heavy and it's needy, but it's a part of me.

Now because I have curly hair, one can never tell whether it is uneven or if it needs a cut because it curls differently in spots and it always has product in it. Well, except for the day that my colleagues deemed, "Natural Hair Day." That day I came to work with nothing in my hair and looked like a mix between Slash from Guns N Roses and Tina Turner, as you can see by the photo to the right. For this reason, I do not go to high end salons to get my hair cut. I go to Supercuts where they wash and cut my hair and don't charge me an arm and a leg, especially when I don't ask them to blow it out and I leave with a wet head. Salons charge the same price for someone like me as they do for a Jennifer Aniston look-alike that they have to spend time styling before she leaves. At least at Supercuts, I spend $20 and leave with the same haircut I would've had for $50 at a high end salon. The stylists at Supercuts are licensed and are just as talented as the stylists that charge a ton of money. I am just too frugal to worry about a haircut that won't look any different no matter how you cut it (pardon the pun).

This hair requires a lot of attention, so I use a lot of product to get it the way I like it and I am not flattering myself when I say that I have encountered many people who ask me how I get my hair the way it is. (It's true, just ask TK.) There are days where I hate it, it frustrates me and no style works but people do ask on the good days, so I am putting it out there for everyone to know.

1. I start off with any clarifying shampoo and then a hydrating or moisturizing conditioner. I like Matrix Curl.Life, which I get at Supercuts and also Aveda Root Awakening products, but I have yet to purchase them. I get a lot of samples from online retailers so I try a lot of stuff out before I actually make a purchase.
   
2. I comb my hair in the shower while the conditioner is still in it with a wide-tooth comb, just to make sure that brushing it won't be a hassle later.
   
3. When I get out of the shower I put my hair up in a metal-free rubber band and wrap a towel around my head.
   
4. When I take it down, I use a paddle brush to get all the knots out. I have broken too many weak brushes trying to brush my hair, so paddle brushes are right for the task.
5. Now, this is the part that most people want to know about: the styling products. Well, I use a lot of the Condition by Clairol 3-in-1 Mousse. I go through one bottle in about 9 days. I have been using it since the 7th grade. Back then I used the pink and now I use the purple, maximum hold variety. Since I have been using the stuff for 18 years, I figure that I am probably keeping the product on the shelves myself with 52 bottles used per year...roughly. The mousse is only about $3, but I actually get it in bulk from my aunt and uncle for holidays. They are my lifesavers. It is the only mousse I have ever found that is more like a cream than an airy foam. It is my hair salvation and I tell people about it whenever they ask. Why not? It may help people who don't know how to tame their mane. You can purchase it online at Drugstore.com or at most CVS stores. Also, it even has SPF in it.
6. To top it all off, I use cheap ole Rave Hairspray to set everything in place. It is a little more than $2 and I buy it every three weeks, just about. I have sensitive skin so some hairsprays dry my scalp or make me break out, this one never does. This is another product that I get in the purple maximum hold variety and can buy at any CVS or Walgreens.
7. I then blow dry my hair just to make sure the hairspray sets and my hair isn't soaking wet for when I leave the house.
   

So, now that I have shared the information that has kept my hair looking the same since middle school, I hope that some of you out there will embrace your curly tendrils and not straighten them like so many people do. Or maybe your hair is full, curly and magnificent and you have some information for me. If so, find me on Twitter: @Mel_K or just post a comment below. I would love to know that there are more of us curly-haired girls out there. We are becoming a minority after all.