I just can't decide whether or not I am dressing up this year. Should I be Slash, a zombie or nothing at all?
I am really not feeling it. Halloween isn't the happiest, most fun day of the year for me. In 2006 the holiday changed for me. As you may have read in a past post or two, my very good friend Tom committed suicide on Halloween four years ago and since then, I haven't been able to catch the excitement that others feel.
Halloween used to be a holiday that I looked forward to because the parties were fun and the costumes were creative. When I was a kid, I loved to trick-or-treat because I walked around the development with my uncle as our chaperone. I couldn't wait to get home from school to head out with my uncle, my brother and my cousins. That's what my memories of Halloween are made of.
Now, dressing up and partying is OK for other days of the year, but Halloween is not what it used to be for me. The days leading up to the 31st are always filled with thoughts of Tom and sadness. I miss him all the time, but mostly around this holiday, for obvious reasons.
So, I am thinking I may just sit this year out because partying just doesn't seem right and it probably won't until I have my own child to dress up. (I miss you Tom.)
1 comment:
Aww this post makes me sad! I understand your feelings but don't you think Tom would want you to be as happy as you could be? The past few oct have been horrible to me (something bad always happens to me in the month of oct for some reason..I think this month hates me lol) so anyway I decided this year I was gonna change that! I went all out with decorating, costumes, just anything fun creative to try and change the way this month has been bringing me down in the past. Just to let you it's been working for me! So just give it a try and try to remember all the great fun times you guys have had, you know he doesn't want you sitting around doing nothing, he would want you out there enjoying your life!
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