How about we hand out trophies for winning, for a change

Now that we are parents, TK and I have decided that the trophies that our children get for just showing up and participating are going right in the garbage. They may not even make it to the garbage at home. I may throw them out in the parking lot of the baseball, soccer or football field. A trophy for participation is not real life.

Would your boss have you compete against another colleague for a promotion and give it to the both of you because you "participated?" No, because that is not how things work in the real world. In the real world, there are winners and losers, and if you lose this time, you will try harder for next time.

Children should learn about discipline and disappointment. Coaches become motivators and disciplinarians on the field or court. They teach children that if they show up late to a game or do not participate in a practice, they do not play. It is not fair for the person that shows up 15 minutes early for every practice and a half hour early for each game to sit on the bench while a player who showed up 45 minutes late plays in a game. In the real world, if you are late to work numerous times or do not show up, you can get fired and for good cause.

The little league field should prepare our little athletes for real life. So, coaches that allow all kids to play regardless of their lateness to practices or games are doing children (and parents) a disservice and giving them a false sense of entitlement. I would prefer a coach that benches my child for lateness than a coach that just lets it go. There are teaching moments throughout our lives, and I have had plenty on the field or the court. For instance, fouling out of a basketball game showed me that my actions have repercussions. Striking out meant that I was not focusing. And, letting a ground ball roll through my legs meant that I was not keeping my glove down or using the tactics taught to me in practice. When I lost a game, it felt awful and there were times that I even cried, but those losses lit a fire inside me to want to win and I strived to accomplish that goal. I will not take those feelings from my children.

So, I repeat, there are teachable moments throughout our lives and our children's lives. Make use of them and prepare our children for a responsible, successful and respectful future. And, if you want our children's trophies, you can have them because they mean nothing, unless they actually earn them.

Getting Organized

My little guy is growing and growing, and I don't care what those percentiles mean that I hear at the pediatrician. He is eight and a half months old and in nine month clothing now. So, it seems like he is on par for his age.

Today, I decided to organize Jax's ever-growing clothing collection. I started with the bins in the garage and noticed that I already labeled one of them that contained all of his clothes from newborn to three months and his summer and fall outfits that he had grown out of. His old clothes were so small and cute, and I kind of miss those days, but we are having a ton of fun now so I prefer now to then. There were two other bins in the garage that needed organizing, so I took them out and took every piece of clothing out and made size piles. When my friends give me their kids' hand-me-downs, I take them and pack them away, but I don't really go through them until Jax jumps sizes. Well, this time, I went through every piece and made three bins: 12-18 months, 18-24 months and 24 months +. I had to make sure I wanted all the clothes that were in there and that none of them had stains. None of the clothes had been washed by me and that is fine because when the time comes, I will just do a couple loads of wash and Jax will have a whole new armoire of clothes to wear.

I also like to go to thrift shops and secondhand stores to buy Jax's clothes, even if the clothes can't be worn for a year or more. Baby and toddler clothes are always in pretty good shape in those stores because A. babies grow out of clothes fast, B. moms donate what they don't like or C. moms donate clothes because they cannot take them back to the store without the original tags. My kid grows fast too, so I don't understand spending a lot of money on an outfit that he may wear once or twice.

Jax may be all set for the next year or so with clothes, but his ensemble will probably double in size a few times over by the time he is three. My mom always comes home from a store with something for him, Joey Russo is growing out of his clothes and so is Grady Thompson. So, we're good for another year and a half ... unless there's a sale.

Fighting Like a Girl

When I was a teenager, I wanted my father to teach me how to box because his father boxed and I was fascinated by the artistry of some fighters, but he refused. His argument was that girls would definitely hit me back and it wouldn't feel good. He also convinced me that punches would leave marks on my face and I wouldn't look the same. It made sense because I have a big Italian nose and one dead on punch to my nose would probably break it instantly. OK Dad, I get it. However, he did teach me how to defend myself when put in the position to and I am thankful for that.

Ronda Rousey, UFC Bantamweight Champion

Not every Saturday, but some Saturday nights I watch UFC fights, and when it is on, I watch the Ultimate Fighter Competition with my husband. Some people think it is barbaric, but I think it is entertaining and a legitimate sport. These fighters are trained in mixed martial arts (MMA) which includes fighting while standing up (striking) and while on the ground (grappling). The menu of experience for the fighters includes boxing, judo, Brazilian jiu jitsu, wrestling, kickboxing and karate. There may be other fighting techniques, but these are the ones I know of.

Now, when I say I like watching MMA, I mean that I like watching fights with submissions, ground and pound and boxing, but there are some fights that bother me because I am still a mother and a female. For instance, I hate when a fighter hammer punches another fighter's face until the fighter flops around like a rag doll. It can be disturbing. I picture this person's mother having to watch her son getting beat until unconscious and it breaks my heart. (Note: a hammer punch is a punch that uses the under part of a person's fist as if they were swinging a hammer.)

This month, UFC 157 included a female fight as the main event for the first time and it introduced Ronda Rousey and Liz Carmouche to the UFC. I told TK that we were ordering this fight on Pay Per View because I just HAD to watch. The inclusion of a female fight on a UFC card is a huge achievement for female athletes. They are paving the way for other females in yet another male-dominated sport. To end the fight, Rousey won due to an arm bar in the first round. (Note: an arm bar is a submission move that hyper-extends a person's arm to the point that it might break if they do not tap out.) After watching the fight, I wanted to learn about the personality behind the fighter so I watched YouTube videos that a colleague sent me. The emotional back stories and intensive training regimens were impressive and I became a fan. Rousey is even an Olympic judo champion. These girls are no joke!

So, next time you say someone "fights like a girl," think of Ronda Rousey and how she can flip over a 200-pound man and put him in an arm bar without messing up her hair. It's OK to be impressed.

Momtrepreneur-to-be

Yesterday, I took the first step to becoming a momtrepreneur, or whatever you want to call it. I took one step toward having a home office with orders coming in over the phone and through email and meetings via Skype where I can wear a blazer on top and flannel plaid PJ pants on the bottom, without anyone knowing the difference. OK, maybe that's all just a dream, but I did really start an Etsy shop. Yea, it may be something small, but it is something.

It says on my resumé that I have an art degree from Penn State, but I haven't used it since I designed promotional materials for Langistic Networks, and I am starting to piss myself off. I never wanted art to become a weekend hobby. I wanted art to be my talent and then become my career, but that obviously never happened. Well, fast forward 11 years and here I am with a husband, a house, a son, a master's degree, and a 7+ year career in public relations with no art anywhere. I enter my drawings in exhibits, but they were created years ago and I never even received an offer on one of them.

I am not quitting. I am an artist and that's what I've wanted to be since I was four-years-old, so I started an Etsy shop that I opened up by selling bottle cap magnets and photography prints of pictures that I've been taking for years on my DSLR. Eventually, I will add drawings, watercolor studies and maybe even portraits that I can do on a commission basis. It is a start. It may not be a six-figure salary or a home office, but it is something. I will not let my creativity flat line, especially at 32-years-old with a NEED to create. My Pinterest account is exploding. 

So, my Etsy shop is named MAK80 and it can be found at: www.etsy.com/shop/MAK80. Take a look and support a rebounding and rejuvenating artist, I mean, if you want.

Fifty Shades of Annoyance

For my 32nd birthday, my husband bought me the Fifty Shades trilogy. So, I read Fifty Shades of Gray and Fifty Shades Darker and liked them both, but then I got to Fifty Shades Freed and, to be honest, I am still on it. I got through the first few chapters, and that was about it. The little pebbles of annoyance that I saw passed in the first two books grew to the size of a boulder in book three.

 

Not every word was bad, don't get me wrong. During the first two books, I appreciated the highly imaginative descriptions and interactions, even though they were mostly sexual. I also liked that it was reminiscent of Pretty Woman, with a rich businessman falling in love with a quirky female who needs to find her way. The Christian Grey is jealous, has control issues and has sex with Anastasia Steele on a piano, so I saw an obvious Pretty Woman likeness. I mean, she even wears a grey tie for him ... really?

Now, those pebbles that I was talking about, yes, they exist and I will list them for you. First, the whole thing is unrealistic, especially Christian Grey's salary. I calculated that he would make $208 million a year or more, by making $100K an hour with added investments. That seems a little crazy. Second, I disliked how she mentioned his frown or his "straight-lipped smile" every other page. We get it, he makes facial expressions. He is a human being with full musculoskeletal control of his face. Got it. Also, it's annoying that Anastasia personifies her subconscious and has it wearing "Burberry" with its "arms crossed." What? That's just silly. And the final thing that had me saying, "Enough already," was the sex. They have SO much sex. On a bed. In a car. In the torture chamber (that's what I call it). In the bathtub. On the bathroom floor. I mean, it is A LOT. This is an erotic novel, so I understand that there has to be sex and plenty of it, but with all of this sex, someone should have a UTI by now or even a yeast infection. Sorry to go there, but it's true.

So, Fifty Shades Freed is on my nightstand collecting dust because Anastasia Steele and E.L. James are like my husband's snoring: OK in small spurts, but really annoying when it doesn't stop. E.L. you were alright at two books or you could have just killed off Ana in book three. Just saying.

A Lifetime of Travels ... Disney Travels

My family and I have recently discussed the possibility of traveling to Walt Disney World again in 2013 and I am ALL for it, as per usual. And, this time, for the first time, I will be bringing a toddler because Jackson will be a little over a year old when we want to go. I cannot wait to see WDW through his little, innocent, open eyes. Luckily for me, I have done it all, so I will not care if he wants to splash around in a fountain for an hour, go back to the hotel room for a nap or stand in line to meet Mickey. However, if he is anything like me when I was a toddler, he will be frightened of the characters and run in the other direction. But, as an infant, he already stays awake when we have company over so that he doesn't "miss" anything, just like his mama, so we may be doing A LOT.

Like I said, I have an extensive Disney history. I have been to Walt Disney World 13 times and to Disneyland once, and every time was wonderful. There were times I just went with my parents and my brother; with just TK; with my parents, TK and my aunt and uncle; and one time with 13 family members. So, here is my list, in chronological order with the places I stayed also listed (the purple items were added to this post after it was published):

1. 1983 - Orlando Vacation Resort (with parents, brother, Uncle Beaver and Viola)
2. 1986 - Days Lodge in Old Town (with parents and brother)
3. 1989 - Polynesian Resort and Las Palmas (with parents, brother and grandmother)
4. 1991 - Caribbean Beach Resort (with parents and brother)
5. 1993 - All Star Sports Resort (with parents and brother)
6. 1995 - All Star Music Resort (with parents and brother)
7. 1997 - Dixie Landings Resort (now Port Orleans Riverside) (with parents and brother)
8. 2003 - Westgate Vacation Villas (with TK)
9. 2004 - Pop Century Resort (with 13 family members)
10. 2006 - Swan Hotel and Caribbean Beach Resort (with parents, TK, Uncle George and Aunt Rosie)
11. 2007 - Pop Century Resort (with TK, Georgie, Jade, Bob and Cissy) Got engaged!
12. 2009 - Saratoga Springs Resort (with parents, TK, Uncle George and Aunt Rosie)
13. 2011 - Kidani Village Resort (with parents, TK, Uncle George, Aunt Rosie and Georgie)
14. 2013 - Kidani Village Resort (with Jackson, TK, parents, Uncle George, Aunt Rosie, Georgie, Paige and Garrett)
15. 2015 - Kidani Village Resort (with Addison, Jackson, TK, parents, Uncle George, Aunt Rosie, Georgie, Paige and Garrett)
16. 2017 - Polynesian Village Resort (Kuehnles, Gonzalezes, and Wallaces)
17. 2018 - Dolphin Resort (our 10th wedding anniversary)
18. 2019 - Bay Lake Tower (Kuehnles, Gonzalezes, and Wallaces)
19. 2020 - Art of Animation (Kuehnles and Gonzalezes) 

As you can see, I have stayed on-site a number of times and I think that is the best way to go because you get the luxury of the Magical Express, bus, monorail and boat transportation. You also get the benefit of package delivery to your hotel, so you don't have to lug your purchases around the parks all day. But, the main reason I like staying on property is that I can enter the world of Disney and not have to leave and come back. When I am in, I am in until we check out.

Now that my family belongs to the Disney Vacation Club, vacations have gotten more and more exciting because we stay on-site during every visit and we have the ability to try more things. For instance, during our 2011 trip, we were able to embark on the "Backstage Safari" at Animal Kingdom Lodge and get up close to the giraffes, zebras, ostriches, etc. and then enjoy a multi-course dinner with wine pairings. It was expensive, but it was wonderful!

So, next year, I am hoping to do something I've never done before ... bring my son to Walt Disney World as a mother. It will be a whole new world for me. (Get it? "A Whole New World." It is a Disney reference. Anyway ...) I can't wait!

So, I had a baby ...

I fell asleep watching the home run derby. Before TK fell asleep, his last words were, "Feel free to wake me up at 2:30 when your water breaks. Good night!" It was 2:22 a.m. and I woke up and felt funny, so I figured it was time to visit the bathroom to empty the bladder. I wasn't even able to walk past TK's side of the bed before my water broke. It was like I spilled a Dixie cup full of warm water on my pants. Whoa! So, I yelled to TK that my water had broke and then I ran to the bathroom and told him to bring me the phone. I guess he planned it this way because he made me eat spicy General Tso's Chicken for dinner and then take three laps around our backyard, and we live on almost an acre of property.

So, as I sat on the toilet I made a call to the overnight service and they connected me with the doctor on call, who was not my doctor ... and a male. It is not that I am sexist or anything, I just didn't (past tense) know why a man would choose to be an OB/GYN. Seemed very odd to me. Anyway, I asked him if I should rush on in and he said to get to the hospital as soon as I could get myself together, but not to rush. An hour later (3:30 a.m.), we got to the hospital and I wanted to head to admitting. The security guard asked me if I was sure and TK told him that I was a trooper and that I was fine. So, after all the paperwork, I headed up to the maternity floor and waited in the lobby for them to call me in. My parents arrived and sat with us until they called my name. I went into the freezing delivery room that would be my new home for the next 14 hours and changed into my new outfit. The nurses asked me almost a million questions about tattoos and piercings, family history and contractions, and then they gave me a sonogram to see if I really broke my water ... and I did.

Then TK and my mom came in to stay with me and the doctor decided to induce me with Pitocin because I wasn't having contractions on my own and I was only two centimeters dilated. The IV didn't work in one wrist, so the nurse switched it to the other arm, and I was all set, until the contractions started. 

HOLY CRAP! Contractions are no joke. It feels like the worst period cramp that you have ever had because your stomach tightens and you have to remind yourself to breathe through the pain. TK thought he could talk to me during this time, but I politely reminded him that it was not a good idea and he would need to shush while I have a contraction. Instead, he watched my contractions on the machine to see how crazy they got every time. The nurse then asked if I wanted an epidural because there were six other preggos that came in with me, so if I did, I would have to get it right then and first. I said, "Most definitely!" And, they ushered TK and my mom out and invited the anesthesiologist in. I didn't really feel the needle go in because the contractions kind of distracted me, but as soon as the meds made their way in, my hips got tingly and my back felt like someone poured warm oil down it. It was sensational and I REALLY don't know why a woman would turn it down. Eventually my stomach and legs went numb, but my feet and ankles did not. Then, the waiting game began ...

Around 4:30 p.m. while under four blankets and with half of my body regaining feeling, I was finally 10 centimeters dilated and I was going to start pushing. That took everything, and an hour and a half. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but then came the stitches and they were the worst part of it all. When he came out, I asked and waited for the cry, and it came. Phew!

He was out, after 16 hours, and now he is in the world. Jackson (Jax) Thomas, at 8 pounds 3 ounces and 21 inches long, is the best thing I have ever created, and I feel extremely lucky to now have him in my life. What a heartwarming feeling it is to be this little special person's mom and to share him with his father, his grandparents and his family and friends. I am amazed that I was able to make this perfect little guy and that he will eventually call me Mommy.

Almost There

Feet are up and ice cream is in the freezer. We have three weeks left until my due date and are excited, but it is pretty nerve-wracking too.

For instance, I have a few thoughts.

• When will my water will break and where, or even if? 
• Is it a gush of water or is it just a little trickle? 
• What does a contraction feel like? 
• Is it like that feeling you get when you eat Taco Bell and it wants to explode out of your body? 
• Is the baby going to be big and will his head make my privates look like a bomb went off?
• Will TK faint at the first sight of blood and amniotic fluid?
• Will I poop on the table during labor? 

Ugh, do you see how crazy a pregnant woman's mind goes? This baby needs to get out ... sooner than later.

Some Kind of Trip

I had two weeks off and I have been taking a lot of trips. Trips to the bathroom. Trips to and from the car because I can't carry everything I bought at once. Trips to get more clothing to fill the washing machine. However, these are not the trips I wanted to take while I had this time off and now the window has shut on the idea.

All week I have been deleting emails from Travelocity, TripAdvisor, Expedia, Sherman's Travel and Fodor's because I don't want to see what I will miss out on while I am growing and having my child. I don't want to see the countless bars of Key West or the castles of Scotland or even the new attractions slated for Fantasyland at the Magic Kingdom, because I can't visit ANY of them. Not now and not for a while.

This week, I wanted to discover a new place or lay on a beach relaxing in the sun or drink a non-alcoholic fruit concoction ... but now I will just have to wait, for longer than I probably realize, to start checking more things off of My Life List. Well, I know I can look forward to #26 and that is a wonderful and amazing thing, and I have loved every minute of it so far. I guess I am just coming to the realization that I will be sacrificing yet another thing, while I plan for my husband's trip to Toronto (another place I've never been). I will be home thinking of whether my little boy will have curly blonde or brown hair and whether he will have my brown eyes or TK's blue eyes, all from the comfort of my own home. Ah, to be a mother.

What a SMASH!

Chocolate Malt

A new burger place has come to Long Island! Smashburger is in Hicksville and the burgers, sides and shakes are delicious. My brother-in-law recommended we grab a bite there after a day of bowling, mini golf and the batting cage (I read a book during the batting cage visit because now is not the time to be taking swings).

My BBQ, Bacon and Cheddar

I had the BBQ, Bacon and Cheddar burger that came topped with fried onions and BBQ sauce. I added ketchup too, because that is what I do. The burger was just so flavorful that I think I would be happy with just their Classic Burger with Cheese. I also added the Haystack Onions and a Chocolate Malted Shake. The onions came with a horseradish dipping sauce, like you would get with a Bloomin' Onion. These onions were light and crispy, and for $1.99, they were a definite after a recommendation from my sister-in-law. The shake was also a great choice because it was sweet and creamy with a small dollop of whipped cream as an edible garnish. 

Steven's Classic with Cheese

Even TK was pleased with his meal and he got the Sweet Potato Smashfries and an order of Fried Pickles. He even referred to it as the "best burger" he has had in a while. So now we are both counting the days until we can revisit this heavenly establishment. Anyone want to go for a ride?

Had to go to Moe's

I have been hearing so much about this place Moe's Southwest Grill because of my fondness for burritos. Today, I drove the 25 miles (much to TK's dismay) to give it a try and I was quite pleased.

I ordered the Homewrecker, which is the largest of the burrito options, so it was the obvious choice. I got it with chicken, rice, cheese, black beans, guacamole, sour cream, lettuce and salsa. All the ingredients were fresh and the burrito was made right in front of me, which I liked. Every meal comes with chips on the side and they are not cheap with them, as you can see by the picture. Of course, I had to listen to Jackie at work and get the side of queso, which was great advice (Thank you Jackie). I took half of the little cup home to share with TK because I knew he would be a fan of it as well. I couldn't even eat everything, so I am eating the other half of the burrito for dinner tonight too.


Next time, I would love to try their pork or add some bacon to my chicken burrito because that sounded delicious. Now, I just have one question ... when is Moe's coming to Suffolk County?

A Pretty Place on Long Island

Today I took a drive up north to Stony Brook Village and the area is so quiet and pretty. The Shopping District includes small and big name shops, but they are all grouped together in a lovely way. My first stop was the Writing Place, where they sell stationary, gifts and Vera Bradley items. Then I took a walk to browse in the shops near the post office, which included Welcome Home of Stony Brook, Fair Trade Winds and the Stony Brook Gift Shop. All of the shops sold very cute, unique items.

When I left the area, people were parked on the street next to a grassy area with huge trees and a huge pond (Mill Pond), complete with geese and ducks. The shops sell duck food, so I figured this was a place where families can and do visit on a sunny day like this one. Also, close to the harbor there was an unusual statue of Hercules. I didn't get out of the car to go see what his significance was, but I thought it was interesting.

Stony Brook Village is a very nice place to take a stroll on a nice spring day, maybe a little less fun alone, but it was peaceful and interesting.

YAY VACAY and YAY FRO YO!

I am now off for two weeks and lovin' it. Since I am not really going anywhere, I have decided to just do some local things that I have never done or tried before. Today, I did a little shopping and made sure to stop by a new frozen yogurt place named Swirls and Twirls. I love ice cream so the collection of low-fat or nonfat flavors is an even better option. They have so many flavors to choose from and they have them organized so that you can combine flavors to create a new concoction. For instance, combining their Southern Red Velvet and their Icky Sticky Peanut Butter creates the Southern Delight. And, this is before toppings ...

I chose Creamy Cookie Blitz and Icky Sticky Peanut Butter and then topped it with crushed up Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Chocolate Crunchies, Chopped Peanuts and Whipped Cream. It was great, even though the whole low-fat or nonfat idea went right out the window with my toppings. Oops!

It's a ...

BOY!

TK and I went for the sonogram and the technician (Jackie) saw a penis, which proves it! However, she did also say that he was shy, which he doesn't get from either of us. TK quickly jumped up with his hands in the air in excitement. Of course, I started to cry ... a little. The technician also showed us all of his working parts, including his feet, legs, hands, spine and she said his head is a normal size. All good news.

We planned a "Baby Gender Reveal Dinner" with my parents, his brother, his brother's wife, my brother and my brother's wife at a family-style Italian restaurant. We ordered a cake from a local bakery and the cake was dyed blue to reveal the gender. TK had a little fit because I wanted the cake to be light green with white and yellow question marks all over it, but he didn't think that it matched the blue inside and he wanted some fondant booties on the cake too. (So high maintenance!) I explained to him that the cake is more for function, not for fashion. So, we decided on a white cake with blue and pink question marks on it and the saying, "He or She? Open to See." At the end of the dinner, the waitress brought out the cake and TK put a slice in it, then I did and then he slid the slice out that we cut and it revealed the blue inside. Everyone was very excited, and 4 out of 6 of them were right. Michael and Steven thought the baby would be a girl.

So, now we know that we are waiting for a little guy to arrive, and I am kind of relieved. I am not the girliest of girls and I like to play rough, so for our first child to be a boy, is good news. I think I will have a little ruffly girl eventually, but right now, there is a boy on his way.

The Strangeness Has Begun

It wasn't strange that I got pregnant. It wasn't even strange that I saw two lines on the test because I always knew I would get pregnant some day. The oddest thing right now at five months along is that I can feel him or her moving.

Being the foodie that I am, I'm used to gas pains, bubbles and cramps, but now I have a little bit more going on in my belly and it's not the result of a big meal. Every night and sometimes during the day, I feel a little flutter here and there and I know there's a little guy or girl in there. Sometimes it surprises me and sometimes I just sit and wait for something to happen. It is really pretty cool and also it reassures me that the baby is OK and growing. Thank you God.

Now, this whole big belly thing, well, this is something I'll have to get used to, along with the interesting comments.

Insulted by the Name Calling

"If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you're not a racist, you'll have to vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you're not an idiot." 

So, let me get this straight, you (the more educated and worldly person) want me to vote for one of these three guys: One who hides his money in off-shore accounts so he can try to fool us into thinking he isn't rich. Another who is "very religious" but has two divorces under his belt and a record of adultery while asking his ex-wives to allow it, and the third who has a 20-year-old daughter but wants to ban contraception and feminine care, even if she is raped, she will just have to deal. 

Interesting ... I wonder what an idiot like me is to do.

The Menu has Changed

Food is a very big deal in my life, and lately it's been a lot more important and a lot less available.

As a pregnant woman, there is an extensive list of food I cannot eat ... sadly. The items on this list could harm me or my baby, so I have to cut things out like alcohol and caffeine. The only alcohol I've put in my mouth in the past four months is in Scope mouthwash. My kind friends let me smell their beer or wine while we are out, and that will be satisfaction enough for me for the next 6 months.

A ham sandwich is also out. I can't eat any cold cuts unless I heat them up and kill any possible bacteria that can carry listeria. What fun is that? So, in this case, a sandwich is not a hero.

Sushi or any raw fish is not allowed in my belly either. Usually, my sushi of choice is a spicy tuna roll of some sort, but tuna is the biggest culprit for mercury intake. Sushi will have to wait, but hibachi is allowed, so Japanese food isn't completely banned.

However, Greek food is useless to me if I can't incorporate any feta cheese. Soft and unpasteurized cheeses are out of question, including the blue cheese dressing that accompanies buffalo wings. I don't love stinky cheese, so I'm not bothered by this, but Greek and Turkish foods are out.

Most recently, I've found out that French fries, hash browns and potato chips all have acrylamide in them, which is a cancer-causing agent, so those have been added to the list.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've been eating like a champ lately because pizza, pasta and salad are all on my crave list, especially balsamic or zesty dressings. Also, the doctor has said that I need to eat five small meals a day, and my family and friends don't let me skip a meal, which I kind of like.

So, the plan is that when this baby pops out, I'm getting a Super Club hero from TJ's Hero Shop in Patchogue and picking up a six-pack of Franzikaner Heferweisen for lunch, and then going to Sumou to get sushi and wine for dinner. I may get tipsy real quick, but it will be delicious. Who wants to join me?

New Clothes

Last week I told you I was preggo and this week I'm going to share with you one of the benefits: NEW CLOTHES.

So by new clothes, I'm not talking "catwalk, top-of-the-line, can barely breathe in them" clothes, I'm talking "eat whatever the heck you want, expands to allow for more food, breathable" clothes. These little, err big, wonders of fashion were made so that a preggo didn't have to care if her body was expanding in all areas, she could still walk without a wedgie and she could sit without creating an enormous muffin top. Ah, comfort.

There are these full-panel pants that are regular pants from hip to ankle, but a whole separate ball game up top. These gems are stretchy from your pelvis, up past your stomach, past your ribcage, to just right below your bra line. And, in the winter, that's like 15 extra inches of warmth my friends. I'm seriously contemplating wearing them after I give birth so I don't have to button another pair of pants again, but that may just be the laziness talking. Now, I'm not quite the fattest I can be yet, so I'm just wearing these pants now because: A. I have them, and B. My real clothes make me feel like a sausage.

The only real problem I am facing is that I'm not feeling all that sexy in anything I wear or don't wear, which I know comes with the territory. However, I'm pretty sure I should care, but I really kind of don't. I'd rather daydream about having a Victoria's Secret body after I pop out a kid, like they do on TV.

New Beginnings

Right after Halloween, I went to go see the Conan O'Brien show with my brother. We drove into the city together and went to a bar to kill time before the show started. I had a Hoegaarden and a sip of his Captain Lawrence Smoked Porter that disgustingly tasted like liquid sausage. That was the last sip of beer I had.

The next day I got to work and realized that it was time to take a pregnancy test because I was late and I had never been late in my life. So during lunch, I ran out to CVS and got myself a pack of three tests because you can never be too sure. That night when I returned home, my husband was waiting for me to take the test. I took one and it had one line and another faint line next to it. Pregnant. I took another test. Two lines again. Pregnant. We were amazed.

When we told my parents, it was great. We brought bagels over and I wrapped a book with "Grandma" in the title for my mother that I had purchased last year for just this moment, if it ever came. I gave her the book and she said thank you but wondered what it meant. I said, "I'm pregnant," through a few tears and then they started to cry. My dad jumped up out of his seat with tears in his eyes to hug me and my mother rushed over to hug Tom. Neither of them wanted to let go, it seemed. It was a priceless reaction.

A few days later, we went over to Tom's parents' house to tell them our news. It was a little less emotional of a reaction, but it was characteristic. Tom's mother was excited and his father's quote was, "Glad to see you still have lead in your pencil." He has a crude way of saying things that gets the point across and makes us laugh at the same time. Hysterical.

So, today I am 14 weeks pregnant. I have the sonograms to prove it and I have heard my baby's heartbeat. It is so strange to have a person growing inside you that is now the size of a lemon. I know the size because I am updated every week on the fruit or vegetable that my baby resembles. Just weeks ago he or she was the size of an olive and now, today - a lemon. But tomorrow, as I start my 15th week, the fruit will change and be something slightly bigger than a lemon.

No sickness, just a little nausea a few weeks ago, and no belly yet as I begin my second trimester. I can just feel a little protrusion in my lower abdomen and most of my pants don't fit anymore. We celebrated Christmas Eve and I had two of the seven fishes. We had a New Year's Eve party and I enjoyed sparkling grape juice. No cold cut sandwiches. No caffeinated beverages and definitely no alcohol, but it will all be worth it when I have a healthy baby in my arms ... and that day will make its way here in about 7 months. Oh man, what have I gotten myself into ...

Let Me in Your Brain, Just for a Minute

Sometimes I wish I was a mind reader so that I didn't have to guess what people thought. To wonder what is going on in a person's mind is one of life's great mysteries, but if everything was just laid out for you, what fun would life be?

However, wouldn't it be so much easier if we just knew what a person thought, like when you are fighting with your husband  or wife, or when your friend stops talking to you for no reason, or when someone says they are happy for you but their face says otherwise? It would be so efficient to just jump into their brain and hear their thoughts to know if you should be mad or just patient because they are not good at communicating.

Wouldn't life be much simpler? But, I guess life is complicated and there is not too much we can do about it. Here's to hoping ...