Insulted by the Name Calling

"If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you're not a racist, you'll have to vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you're not an idiot." 

So, let me get this straight, you (the more educated and worldly person) want me to vote for one of these three guys: One who hides his money in off-shore accounts so he can try to fool us into thinking he isn't rich. Another who is "very religious" but has two divorces under his belt and a record of adultery while asking his ex-wives to allow it, and the third who has a 20-year-old daughter but wants to ban contraception and feminine care, even if she is raped, she will just have to deal. 

Interesting ... I wonder what an idiot like me is to do.

30 B4 30 Day 17: Read the NY Times, Cover to Cover

Do you ever notice how detached you are from the world when you don't read the newspaper, check your e-mail or watch TV? I feel this way when I am on vacation, and I very much enjoy it, but I also like to be in the know. On a daily basis, I scan a number of local papers for mentions of my employer. Sometimes I even stop to read human interest pieces or stories about art theft. Today, I decided to Read the New York Times, Cover to Cover and that took me about 4 hours to complete.

I am not a speed reader or a slow reader, I just read EVERY article in the Times and learned quite a bit about what is going on in the world I live in. For instance, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Pakistan, China, Korea and Venezuela are horrible vacation spots, and colleges want parents to stop babying their kids. Very interesting. Also, I learned that LaDainian Tomlinson was a pretty good pick for my ESPN fantasy football team (so there TK!) and President Obama should be able to take a vacation, after all, he has one of the most difficult jobs in the world. The guy needs a break. I know I would need a pina colada with an umbrella in it from time to time if I was the President of the United States. Who am I kidding? I would need a few drinks if I was the president of the PTA. Obama also doesn't take mulligans (do-overs) in golf, which shows that he is an honest person. I don't take them either. I just suck and accept it. Which leads me to believe that I should study the Stack and Tilt Method of golf that was explained in the sports section. It is all about keeping your weight on your front foot and keeping your arms in. It is probably easier said than done.

There were also other stories that really caught my attention. Like:

• They have a bar in the David Barton Gym so that people can have a few cocktails after they work out. Doesn't that just cancel out what you just worked off? They say they want to make the gym a more "social scene," but I don't think anyone would want to have a conversation with me if I was all sweated up and had just thrown up because I had a cosmo after running 2 miles. Gross.
  
• Caster Semenya, the runner who the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) thought was a man, is back to racing. Personally, I feel bad for her. I can't imagine taking a test to prove I am female. I would tell people to hang out with me once a month so I can rip them apart with words while I am PMSing. That would really be sound proof.
  
• A Van Gogh painting is still missing from a museum in Egypt. These stories I always read because art interests me. Art theft is most interesting because it baffles me how and why people do it. I would be afraid to steal any piece of artwork because most pieces are so fragile that I would probably ruin it and then it wouldn't be worth anything. Then I would be in jail for something worth $100. That would be my bad luck.
• And finally, there were paragraph marks left in the Giants story. My editor eye caught that. Oops!

So, reading the New York Times expanded my knowledge of current events and I think I would even like to read it on a regular basis. Next time though, I think I will just read the lead paragraphs instead of every article in its entirety. Reading the newspaper shouldn't take all day. It should really just take the length of time it takes me to drink a hot cocoa and eat a chocolate chip scone. That's about it.