30 B4 30 Day 14: Learn to Play Chess

"Melissa, you can't be the best at everything," said Ms. Brennan, my cheerleading coach in 10th grade. She made this "profound" statement when she saw me crying out of frustration because my straddle jump sucked. I knew at 15 that I couldn't be good at everything, no matter how hard I tried, and I still know now, but thanks for the sensitivity Ms. Brennan. Over time, I have learned to accept that I really can't play soccer because I don't have fast feet and that I don't have the cooking gene that runs in my Italian and Puerto Rican family. These qualities, among others, I have accepted as personal flaws. And tonight, I learned another very valuable lesson...I am not good at chess either.

Tonight's item: Learn to Play Chess, was interesting but very difficult. TK is excellent at chess (and soccer too...figures!) so I had him teach me how to play. He started out with the placement of the pieces, then their names and what they can do. I had to jot down a quick cheat sheet to refer back to, complete with sketches of a horse (knight), a castle (rook) and a place card holder (bishop). When I was a kid, I used the chess pieces to play checkers because the boards are similar and no one had the patience to actually teach me to play. I'm slightly surprised TK was up for the job because when I ask him to teach me how to snowboard or surf, I get shot down.

So, we played a few games and I lost them all, but I learned how difficult chess really is. You have to play offense and defense at the same time, which I am not used to being that I played sports my whole life, and you have to think two to three moves ahead to keep yourself out of trouble. It is interesting and intricate. One game it took me only 45 seconds to get myself into checkmate. I am far from becoming a Bobby Fisher protege, but that doesn't mean I won't play again and keep trying to win. It may take me a couple of years, but I will prevail.

You never know what you are capable of if you don't try, and by try I mean get beat and learn why you lose before you start to really succeed. So what if I suck at chess now? It's only the beginning.

30 B4 30 Day 13: Make a List of 100 Things That Make Me Happy

There are so many things that make you happy, but have you ever thought to make a list of them? I had the idea to Make a List of 100 Things That Make Me Happy for my 30 B4 30 project, but I ended up with more than 100. Oops! I am not sure if this means I am a happy person or just excessive.

Since this list is long, I don't want to bog you down with more words than I have to. So, let's just get to it, right? Here are my 100+ things:

1. The Christmas season
2. Being married to my best friend
   
3. Art museums or galleries
4. Skip-It
5. Sharpened pencils
6. Music to dance to
7. Bubble baths
8. Sinking a 3-point shot
9. Naps
10. Lemonade
    
11. Babies laughing
12. Sunshine
13. Hitting a line drive
14. Getting an A on a test or a paper
15. Strong scented candles
16. Being with family
17. Clearance racks
18. Flowers in full bloom
19. Hot cocoa
    
20. Summer festivals
21. Fireworks
22. Baby animals
23. Shave ice or snow cones
24. Finding a favorite movie on TV
25. Going out to eat
26. Amusement parks
27. Planning a vacation
28. Fishing with my dad
29. Playing Rock Band or Bomberman with TK
30. Knowing the Final Jeopardy question
31. Theater performances
32. Getting a good workout
33. Finishing a crossword puzzle
34. Winning money
35. Rollercoasters
36. Finding the perfect gift for someone
37. Scream-singing at a concert
38. Sharpies in a variety of colors
39. Getting the shading right in a drawing
40. New outfits
41. Sales
42. Good mascara
43. Walt Disney World
44. Electric blankets
45. Milkshakes
46. Weddings
47. E.L. Fudge cookies
48. The Rhymes with Orange comic strip
49. When my team wins (Giants, Mets, Penn State, Spurs)
50. Finishing a drawing
51. Reruns of The West Wing
52. Hammocks
53. Compliments
54. Mister Softee
55. Road trips
56. Yoga
57. Warm towels
58. Fresh fruit
59. A table close to the buffet (can you blame me?)
    
60. Foam soap
61. Over-sized sweatpants
62. Ziplining
63. Zorbing
64. Riding an ATV
65. Waterfalls
66. When someone pronounces my last name correctly
67. Cuddling
68. Watching my mother dance
69. New adventures
70. Suddenly seeing a butterfly
71. New episodes of my favorite TV shows
72. The person who first put chocolate and peanut butter together
73. A good page-turner
74. Cracker Barrel
75. Sour candy
76. Baking
77. Matching
78. Knowing the answer
79. Getting TK’s full attention
80. A good bottle of wine
81. My father’s cooking
82. Fluffy slippers
83. Finding a $5 bill in the pocket of my jeans
84. Taking a great photo
85. Being in a great photo
86. Main Streets
87. Warm chocolate chip cookies
88. A new magazine
89. When a ladybug lands on me
90. Cookbooks
91. Alphabetical order
92. A pile of pillows
93. Helping a charity
94. Day planners
95. Mini-golf
96. Libraries
97. Being silly with my friends
98. A sun tan
99. Making someone smile
100. Straws
101. Gift with purchase
102. Sonic®, America’s Drive-In
103. Researching subjects that interest me
104. Zumba
105. Fireplaces or fire pits
106. Happy hour (duh!)
     
107. Laughing hard
108. Being referred to by my maiden name
109. Good manners
110. Hot showers
111. The Red Box
112. Vacation days
113. Free samples
114. Romantic comedies
115. Penguins
     
116. Snow days
117. Board games (except Risk and Monopoly)
118. Getting rewarded for a job well done

If nothing else, at least this list will make it easier for someone to buy me a birthday present.

(P.S. I am sure I can think of more, but I don't want to make your eyes hurt.)

30 B4 30 Day 12: Order a Drink I Have Never Drank

Since I am married to a bartender, there are endless possibilities when considering a beverage. Some nights I don't even choose to have a beverage, yet one is waiting in front of me. Not a bad deal. As a mixologist, TK likes to blend things together and see how well he can mask the alcohol. And, I willingly volunteer to help. Today I chose to Order a Drink I Have Never Drank as my item on the list of 30 B4 30. It is not very exciting, but it tastes good.

They come out with new flavors of liquor just about every week. There is a flavor for every fruit, dessert and candy. Some are nasty and some are delicious. Tonight I tried a drink that combined two different types of vodka that were just introduced. TK created it and the bartenders called it "The French Connection." (Interesting name being that my mother made an unexpected appearance in the movie of the same name back in 1971.) The drink incorporated the new Chambord vodka, the new Grey Goose Pear vodka, sour mix, Sprite and a splash of pineapple juice. It was fruity and sour, and I enjoyed it. Then I tried the new Pinnacle Whipped Cream vodka and to me it tasted like liquid cake. It would probably be a great addition to a White Russian or eggnog.

Like food, I will try most drinks. I've had Limoncello (great), Pineapple Wine (delicious), Don Perignon (no big deal), Guinness (too heavy) and Chelada (gross). I have even tried moonshine and I think it almost melted my esophagus. Eventually, I want to try Sake, Ouzo and Grappa, but probably not at the same time.

30 B4 30 Day 11: Watch a Foreign Film

I like to think of myself as a worldly individual, even though I haven't left the western hemisphere. Nonetheless, I am open and accepting of other cultures, especially when art and food are concerned. That is why I added Watch a Foreign Film to my list of things to do on my 30 B4 30 list.

The movie I chose to watch was Babette's Feast, a Danish Academy Award winner from 1987. It's about food and everyone knows how much I love food, so I thought, "How could I go wrong?" Well, this movie was a little dull to start because it took place in the 1800's but after the French maid (Babette) (minus the presumed black and white sexy outfit) won the lottery, it got interesting. She offers to make a celebration dinner for the two nice sisters who took her in and their small congregation. One of the sisters sees all of the ingredients for the feast and gets worried that Babette is into witchcraft. I don't know how a turtle, a dozen quails and cheese can create a spell, but I understand her issue because I wouldn't want to eat a turtle either. That is one of the animals I will not eat, along with rabbit, squirrel and dolphin. I hate squirrels and like the other animals alive too much to eat them. Although, I have had frog, duck, alligator, conch, veal, lamb and snails. Some were good and some, not so much, but I will try almost anything at least once.

Anyway, the sister goes and tells all of the congregation to keep quiet about the meal as to not show any pleasure because to participate in such luxury is a sin. So, at this luxurious dinner that Babette has prepared, they are all eating course after course and every time the guest from outside the congregation expresses how delicious eat course is, they change the subject and talk about the weather. This guest is the long lost love of one sister. He has eaten fine foods in Paris and knows what each course is and what it is supposed to taste like. He even quotes a bible verse while eating because he is so pleased with the meal. Eventually, they all give in and enjoy the meal, and even forgive each other for anything they have done to each other in the past. (I guess the meal was "magic"?) Just shows that you should trust people when they take on the responsibility of planning an event or a dinner for you. Maybe they will exceed your expectations.

At the end of the movie, Babette tells her employers that she was an executive chef at a restaurant while in Paris, but she will be staying with them because she spent all of her lottery winnings on the china, glasses, table linens and food for their celebration. This upsets the sisters because they are sad that she will be poor for the rest of her life. Then Babette says the best line of the entire movie, "An artist is never poor." To which, one of the sister's says that she will be the artist she wants to be while in heaven.

The moral of the story is: You don't have to get paid for your talents to be happy doing them. Those Danes are pretty smart.

30 B4 30 Day 10: Purge My Closet of Old or Useless Items

As you mature, you should really come to terms with who you are on the inside and on the outside. For instance, if you haven't been a size 6 in 6 years, you should get rid of the size 6 items in your closet. So, today's item on the 30 B4 30 list is Purge My Closet of Old or Useless Items.

I used to be in denial about being a "big girl." I am almost 5'8" with more curves than Lombard Street, and believe me, I am not flattering myself. When I was in high school and college, I wanted to be a little petite girl with caved in cheeks and thighs. You know, the type of girl who doesn't get a double chin and has calf muscles because she was born with them. In reality, I was not dainty or girlie and I was the farthest from petite. In college, I was convinced guys were afraid of me because I had wild hair and I wasn't the type of girl you wanted to give a piggy-back ride to. I could actually carry more guys on my back. I should have probably tried out for the football or rugby team, but then I may have received very different attention...hmmm.

At the ripe old age of 29, I have accepted the fact that I am just built different. I now know and have accepted that I would rather wear sneakers than high heels. I would rather throw a spiral than get a manicure and I would rather watch a Giant game than a soap opera. I'm just not graceful or girlie and I am well aware of it. Maybe it is because I was surrounded by guys when I was growing up or because my grandmother and my mother were both tough women. They didn't mess around, so neither do I.

So today I had to come to grips with my closet. I made a deal with myself and said, "Self, you can keep two pairs of skinny jeans and two pairs of skinny pants, but everything else has to go." And I agreed. The pants that I haven't worn since 2004 were added to the pile and so were the flat-chested girl shirts. There are shirts that I bought because I thought I could stuff my stuff into them, but then I wore them in front of friends or family and they laughed and told me I couldn't leave the house. Those are the shirts that those dainty petite girls can wear and I cannot. So they were gone and so were the clothes that I have been keeping because I got them as a gift and felt bad getting rid of them. I'm a Catholic, so my guilt bag is full and those shirts and shoes had to go too. Then there were the two tees that I bought for my grandmother that said "Penn State Grandma" and I decided that those were keepers. I bought them for her when she was alive and she wore them proudly. I can't throw them away because I don't have much left from her. I have two t-shirts, a ring and a small purse, that's it and it makes me sad. Maybe I can wear the shirts when I am a grandma. Who knows?

After four bags of useless items, I have decided that I will donate everything to Savers and then buy myself some new items for my own birthday in 20 days. It's the circle of life my friends. Just accept it and accept that image in the mirror that you see on a daily basis. That's you.

30 B4 30 Day 9: Take Myself Out on a Date

The other day when I went to the yoga class by myself, TK said, "I really admire you that you go do these things by yourself. I wouldn't be able to." This confused me because I could never understand why people would need anyone to go anywhere. You came into this world by yourself and you will leave it by yourself. You are the only one stuck with you for the rest of your life, so you might as well start liking your own company. In order to practice this belief, I chose to Take Myself Out on a Date for today's 30 B4 30 activity.

My date started out at the Sayville Cinema because movies only cost $5 before 6 p.m. I am not a cheap date, I just like to save money. When I walked in, the employees didn't seem to care that I was by myself. They probably see it all the time. I even saw a few other girls that were alone for the flick like I was. No big deal. No one talks while watching a movie anyway, or at least they shouldn't. And, as an added bonus, you don't have to share an armrest. Aside from the loners in the crowd there were also older women and gay men. Typical for a chick flick. Eat, Pray Love was very good, just like the book. I just finished it last night and figured it would be a great fit for a day of spending quality time with myself because it is the story of a woman who decides to travel alone to 3 destinations and balance out her life. TK told me the other day that he thinks this is exactly what I would do if I ever left him. I have to say, he is right, but I am not actually planning on it. My future trips will include him, for now. ;)

After the movie, I went for a bite to eat. I figured that if I am really going to do this, I should go all out. I went to Cafe Joelle and they sat me at the table right in front of the window. It was like I was advertising how enjoyable the food was for those passing or driving by. I honestly enjoyed being in the front window because at least there was entertainment while I had no one to talk to. I also sat next to a couple and was secretly hoping they saw my ring so they knew I wasn't lonely, which I wasn't. Ironically, one of the songs that played in the restaurant was "You're Only Lonely" by, I think, Roy Orbison or someone similar. Interesting how things just click together.

Humanity began with a pair, Adam and Eve, but I believe that one is sometimes enough. I have never lived alone, but I can dance alone, work alone, drive alone, draw alone and now, eat and be entertained alone. In certain circumstances, I just don't think there is a need to be with anyone else. I have told TK in the past that I don't need him to be my husband, I want him to be. I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just being honest. I have no problem doing things all by myself. Sometimes it is nice to be able to make decisions without compromising what you want. When you share a life with someone or you travel with a friend or friends, you have to learn to make accommodations and adjustments to reach an agreement. Even though compromise is good and I am very chatty, I do enjoy my quiet, alone time with no one to talk to or deal with. You can learn a lot about yourself by being alone.

I would have liked to finish my date up with some ice cream, but I already had plans for the night. At least she has my number for next time...

30 B4 30 Day 8: Write a Fan Letter to Conan O'Brien

There are some people in this world who are just naturally funny without having to try. Of all the funnies, I think this is the best kind of funny. For these people, it just comes up on a daily basis without provocation, like a vurp. My brother is one of these people, so is TK's friend Greg and my friend Jonelle. Sometimes TK even comes out with a few quick one-liners and just cracks me up. A sense of humor is one of the best qualities to have and I really admire funny people. One of the people that I admire most because of his wittiness, creativity and intelligence is Conan O'Brien. So I chose Write a Fan Letter to Conan O'Brien as today's activity for my 30 B4 30 project.

In all these years of watching television and movies, listening to music and reading magazines, I never felt compelled to write a fan letter to anyone. So, this is the first fan letter I've ever written:

Dear Mr. O’Brien:

So, I am writing to you because I am turning 30 in less than a month and I created a 30 B4 30 project that requires me to do 30 things I have never done during the 30 days that lead up to my 30^th birthday. (Sorry about all of the 30’s in that sentence.) One of the items on my list is to write you a fan letter, so that is what this note is supposed to accomplish. Do you feel flattered yet? No. OK…I will go on.

Basically, I started watching your show while I was in college at Penn State from ’98-’02. I was an art major so I could stay up late and not study. I continued to watch your show for years afterward, up until you went off the air in January of this year. And, in my honest opinion, you got robbed! I guess the choice for who should host The Tonight Show was based solely on seniority because Jay Leno is not funnier than you; he is just older and has more cars and a bigger chin. I wanted to know if most people felt the same, so of the 600 people I polled, only 12 answered, but 10 of them said they like you better than Leno.

Like many folks, I am anxiously awaiting your return to television to entertain the world. Late night television is just not the same. Now I just scan the Food Network, the Travel Channel and sometimes the History Channel, in hopes that something interesting is on. Maybe you should make a guest appearance on Down Home with the Neelys as their pasty neighbor or Pawn Stars trying to sell some memorabilia from The Tonight Show? It’s just a suggestion and it would kind of make things a lot easier for some of us.

Also, I included a graphic design project I did in typography class while in college. I had to use the letters of someone’s name to create a rendering of them and I chose you. You had an “interesting” look and I figured I could do a lot with your image. Let me know if you agree…or don’t, whatever.

Thanks for the laughter,

Melissa

Yes, that part at the end is true. I created the image to the left in my sophomore typography class. The people who have seen it have told me to send it to him because maybe he will put me on his show. What? That won't happen. Do you know how many crazy people send him stuff they made for him? There's probably a Conan potato chip and a Conan pot holder out there somewhere. Anyway, tomorrow I am sending this letter, along with my pride, to California. We'll see if I ever get a response. I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: It is 2013 and still no response ... What the heck, Conan?
UPDATE: It is now 2014, and still nothing. I am posting this to his Facebook page. Take that!

30 B4 30 Day 7: Try Bikram Yoga

Practicing yoga makes one more aware of their body, mind and spirit. It really tests your limits. I know I have made jokes about it testing the limits of my bowels, but I am serious when I say that yoga works its way into your body and makes you push yourself. Once it gets under your skin, you want to know what else you can challenge yourself to do. This desire to push myself motivated me to choose my activity for day 7: Try Bikram Yoga. Bikram yoga, or hot yoga, is a practice that incorporates 26 asanas (postures) for 45 minutes to an hour in a room with the temperature turned up to 95 to 100 degrees.

Preparing for yoga class, I did a little research on what to bring and wear. My Google search led me to pages that said I needed a hand towel, a lot of water and my own mat. The hand towel is to wipe any dripping sweat, the water is to rehydrate myself and the mat is needed to keep my sweat in my neighborhood. The gift certificate TK bought me covers 10 classes at Yoga is Life in Setauket, so I chose the hot yoga class at 9 p.m. and like the nerd that I am, I left my apartment at 8 to get there.

Obviously, I was the first one to arrive, so I signed in and waited for the class to start. When we were allowed in the room, I figured if I was going to do this right, I had to park my mat in front of the heater. So, that's what I did and as we went from posture to posture, it got hotter and hotter. It wasn't like a sauna where I couldn't breathe because I hate that suffocating feeling you get in a spa. I actually found myself thinking that it could get hotter. When I was in high school, I played basketball outside during the summer, so I was prepared to feel weak and tired, but I didn't. I felt exhilarated and accomplished when the class was over.

Let me be honest, sweat was definitely dripping down my face and down my shoulders, but it felt great to sweat. It also felt great to do this one power pose where you punch your hands down to your sides, kick your knee up and say "HA!" as you walk back and forth on your mat. The purpose of this act is to let out your frustrations and I definitely thought about TK's socks all over the floor (HA!), Duncan crying at me to go outside (HA!) and the jury duty I will have in 2 weeks (HA!). Also, as I was going from balance pose to breathing technique, I looked up to the ceiling and enjoyed that the panels had suns or clouds painted on them, a welcomed detail.

The setting was pretty peaceful, but that was until I was in a resting pose and had to lie my forehead on my mat. The rug under my mat smelled like a sweaty foot. People warned me that I might smell the body scents of my classmates, but they didn't warn me about the smell of the rug. It was the only disappointment I had during this experience and it was a small one being that I was standing up or sitting down most of the practice.

Tonight's class allowed me to let everything out...well not "everything" because I kept my bowels in check and only released sweat, frustration and toxins, and it felt good. I plan on using the rest of my gift certificate as soon as possible. Namaste!

30 B4 30 Day 6: Learn to Say Thank You in 30 Languages

Good manners were instilled in me early in life with my mom asking, "Whatdya say?" after I received an ice cream cone from Mister Softee or when the big kid from next door went to get the ball that I accidentally tossed across the street. After a few years, it stuck and now I shout, "YOU'RE WELCOME!" to people I knowingly hold the door open for at the mall who neglect to say thank you. I just feel that there is no excuse to not say thank you or you're welcome or even please, well unless you have a mouthful of food and the waiter comes by to ask how the food is. Then, it may take a minute...but you should still say it.

In addition, I have always thought there should be something else to say after someone says, "you're welcome," because sometimes saying, "thank you," is just not enough to convey how thankful you really are. So, for my 6th item on my 30 B4 30 list, I chose to Learn to Say Thank You in 30 Languages because sometimes "thank you" is the most important thing you can say in any language.

Now, some of the words were easier to learn, like asante (Swahili) which was said in The Lion King and arigato (Japanese) which was sung in "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. Also, I already knew the big 4: gracias (Spanish), merci (French), grazie (Italian) and danke (German), which every person should know regardless of what subject they chose to study in high school. Then there is the one I have used before: mahalo (Hawaiian), and the one I have heard before: mesi (Haitian Creole). But, after I got through these eight, the rest were slightly difficult to learn and even more difficult to remember, and I have been repeating them over and over. See for yourself:

1. ARABIC = shukran, shoe-krahn
2. BENGALI = dhanyabaad
3. CHINESE, Cantonese = do jeh, daw-dyeh
4. CHINESE, Mandarin = xiè xie, syeh-syeh
5. CROATIAN, SERBIAN, SLOVENIAN = hvala
6. CZECH = děkuji, deh-ku-yih
7. DUTCH = dank u wel / dank je wel
8. FINNISH = kiitos, kee-toas
9. GREEK = ευχαριστώ, ef-har-rih-stowe
10. HEBREW = toda, toh-dah
11. HINDI = sukria, shoo-kree-a
12. INDONESIAN = terima kasih, t'ree-ma kas-seh
13. KOREAN = kamsah hamnida, kahm-sah ham-nee-da
14. LATIN = gratias ago (from 1 person), gratias agimus (from more than 1 person)
15. LATVIAN = paldies
16. NORWEGIAN, SWEDISH, ICELANDIC, DANISH = tahk
17. PERSIAN = motashakkeram
18. POLISH = dziękuję, dsyen-koo-yeh
19. PORTUGUESE = obrigada (female speaking), oh-bree-gah-dah
20. RUSSIAN = спасибо, spah-see-boh
21. TAHITIAN = mauruuru
22. TURKISH = tesekkur ederim, teh-sheh-kur eh-deh-rim

Not as easy as it seems, is it? At least there were pronunciation hints included with some of them. I would be completely lost if that wasn't the case. For instance, try to read the Greek term without the pronunciation assistance. That's what I thought...

So far, I can remember several of the words listed but I fully intend to learn all 30 and keep them in my mental Rolodex for future use.

And, I would like to say a special thank you to Louise DiCarlo who suggested I add this item to my list. She can pick whichever thank you she wants from the list to accept my appreciation. Personally, I would choose mahalo because it is my personal favorite. Hawaii is an amazing place and the only location of the 30 that I have been to. Wow, apparently, I need to travel more and practice what I have just learned.

Oh, and thank you for reading about today's activity!

30 B4 30 Day 5: Create My Mission Statement

If you didn't know, I am not Jerry Maguire so I am not writing a pamphlet on how to create a happy life as a sports agent, but I do think it is important that you know your purpose on this earth and that you live every day with that purpose in mind. That is why I chose Create My Mission Statement as my item for today.

All day, everyday, people do what they want or what others want them to do, and I think my 2 year-old friend Kaitlyn is on point when she asks, "Why?"

I like going to restaurants, museums and traveling, but why? I enjoy taking classes, watching educational programs and learning fun facts. Again, why? These statements are true about me, but why do I like these things and why do I do the things I do? These are all questions you should ask yourself too. What makes you tick? What makes you, well, you?

I analyzed myself and my craziness for a little while today, and this is the simple statement I created to explain me:


Melissa Anne (Gonzalez) Kuehnle's mission is to create memorable experiences, use her creativity and consistently learn from her surroundings. She continues to enrich her life by remaining open to new ideas and people, while staying realistic and honest. Melissa has made the commitment to live life with a sense of humor, an imagination and a smile...all while saying please and thank you.

Ask the question. Take the journey. Live. That is Melissa's mission.


On day 5 of my 30 B4 30, I came up with the answer to my question, so I ask you, "Who's coming with me?"

30 B4 30 Day 4: Make Creme Brulee

Nothing for me is ever easy. I honestly don't remember ever coasting through anything. Baking is no different. I enjoy it and most of what I bake comes out delicious, but how it gets to that point is always a disaster. I am not graceful and would never be able to have a show on the Food Network because I make a mess and I am no one's Paula Deen or Giada De Laurentiis. I've made cakes, cupcakes, cookies, truffles and even souffles, but since my kitchen is a shoebox, I wear a red polka dot apron and create a tornado. For instance, today's item for the 30 B4 30 project is to Make Creme Brulee, which was a very interesting experience.

First, I bought the Creme Brulee set at Bed, Bath & Beyond and it came with a torch and 4 ramekins. Then I went to Pathmark to pick up the ingredients that I didn't already have in my cupboard. They didn't have vanilla bean, so I had to get pure vanilla extract instead. Sometimes substitutions have to be made.

Then, I got home and started the process. I had to combine the cream, milk and vanilla and then bring it to a boil. After I saw it starting to boil, it started to boil over and like an idiot, I let it happen. It was like watching a car accident and not being able to do anything about it. After the mess was made, I picked it up and moved it to another burner but not before it spilled all over the stove. Then I foolishly tried to sop up the mess with a paper towel and hit the hot burner by mistake, igniting the paper towel. Then I screamed like a girl. It was a good thing I was lazy this morning and didn't wash the dishes because there was a bowl in the sink filled with water so I threw the flaming towel in there. Then TK rushed in to see if I was setting our apartment on fire, which I was not...anymore.

Finally, I blended the rest of the mixture and poured it into the ramekins, created the water bath and placed them in the oven. Phew! But, that wasn't the end of my problems. After the 30 minutes was up, I took the ramekins out of the oven and realized that there was no fuel in the torch. Can't caramelize the sugar without a flame. The burnt sugar crust on the top is what makes Creme Brulee, well, Creme Brulee (it means burnt cream in French). So, I put everything in the fridge and decided that this had to be put on hold until tomorrow. Now, where the hell do I find butane?

P.S. I will add photos upon completion of my task. My apologies.

UPDATE: Here are some photos of the Creme Brulee I finished today after I bought butane at Home Depot. Unfortunately, I put too much brown sugar on the top so there was no glass-like coating. But, the custard part was really good. Even TK liked it after I told him to just scrape the burnt sugar off the top. All in all, a slight success! Now to master the kitchen torch...

30 B4 30 Day 3: Order Something I Have Never Eaten

Who doesn't love food? I will try anything I am offered, at least once. Sometimes I need to try it a few times before I can really decide if I like it or a don't. Like caviar for example, I tried it a few times and still hate it. So, for my 3rd item on the list, I decided to order something at a restaurant that I have never tried before.

TK and I headed out east to The Lobster Roll in Riverhead so I could try none other than the lobster roll. Tah dah! We started with blowfish bites called Puffers. I never tried blowfish before and it was really good. It wasn't as adventurous as if I would have chosen the more unique blowfish dish: Fugu. Chefs have to get certified to make it so that they don't kill anyone. Anyway, this wasn't that.

Then, I ordered the restaurant's namesake. I have always wanted to try a lobster roll because it has fish, mayo and celery, and I like all those. It was pretty tasty but I should have known it wouldn't be my favorite because I don't like cold fish. I don't even eat shrimp cocktail. Anywho, it was big chunks of lobster, which I would have loved if I could have heated them up and dipped them in butter, but that is beside the point. This didn't taste like fish and it was really fresh. To me, that's quality food. I enjoyed my $22 sandwich but I am not so sure I would order it again. Another quality lesson learned...

30 B4 30 Day 2: Leave a Note in a Library Book

It may seem a little odd but I love the library. It may be because it is a building full of knowledge or maybe it is because you can borrow whatever you want for free. I love free. I also love solving a mystery or learning about historically significant stories. So today for Day 2 of my 30 B4 30 project, I left a note in my favorite book at the library for the next person who borrows it. My favorite book is Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. It's a thriller that mixes symbology, art history, religion and modern culture together for a fast paced, gory novel that I actually read in 3 days. It is the first of the series of books by Dan Brown that feature the fictional character, Robert Langdon, a religious iconology professor from Harvard University that helps solve murders, decipher codes, read ancient texts and analyze artwork. I think Angels & Demons is better than its overrated successor The DaVinci Code and I actually make sure to tell my new friend in the little note I left today.

When I walked into the library with the note in my book tote, I felt like a cat burglar on the job even though everything in the library was open and ready for the take. I went up to the fiction area and headed to the Mystery/Thriller section. I saw 3 copies of The DaVinci Code and 6 copies of The Lost Symbol, but zero copies of Angels & Demons...WHAT? I started to think my bad luck had found me again and I would have to go to another library to complete my task. Then I remembered that there was a General Fiction section and went there. Phew! There was one single, yellowed, copy of the book. So I took out my little note with its burnt edges and slipped it into the book. Then I took the photo to the right and really felt like a little sneak. Who takes pictures at the library? Yep, I do.

Anyway, here's what the note said:


So, I am about to turn 30 and in commemoration of this monumental event in my life, I started a 30 B4 30 project that began yesterday, 30 days before I turn 30. This is Day 2 and for the second item on my list, I am leaving a note for the next reader of this book.

This is my most favorite book and I hope that you are enjoying it so far. I also hope that you will share my opinion in the fact that Angels & Demons is a faster moving, more interesting book than The DaVinci Code. If not, that’s OK too. Everyone has the right to their own opinion, and in saying that, I would like to leave you with a few of my favorite quotes:

- “Use what talent you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” - Henry Van Dyke

- “A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak.” - Michael Garrett Marino

- “Embrace your uniqueness. Time is much too short to be living someone else's life.” - Kobi Yamada

- “After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.” - Italian Proverb

- “Minds, like parachutes, only work when open.” - Anonymous

I hope you enjoy these quotes and feel some inspiration from them. Thank you for helping me accomplish my 30 B4 30 and enjoy the rest of this exciting book!

Maybe it seems a little trivial and ridiculous, but to leave a note to a stranger in a book that I have read and loved just seems interesting and exciting to me. That person will try to envision what I look like, what I do for a living, if I have a husband or a wife and what my interests are. This person will create my back story and may even leave the note in the book for another person to see or for my kid to discover in 20 years when he or she finds out I did this 30 B4 30 project. Maybe it's just wishful thinking or maybe it is just my mini-legacy...or maybe no one will take out the book and it will just sit there for years to come never to be seen again by the human eye. Nah! That can't be.

30 B4 30 Day 1: Eat a Big Mac

On Day 1 of my 30 B4 30 project, I thought I would start with the most shocking item of all 30: Eat a Big Mac. If you know me, you know I eat like a dude. When all the ladies are ordering salads, I get a bacon burger with fries and when there is a buffet, I make 3, maybe 4, trips. I am not saying I am morbidly obese because I'm not, I'm just saying that I like food. I am a foodie and for many it is shocking that I haven't eaten my share of Big Macs, especially while in college where junk food was a staple and the freshman 15 for me was more like the freshman 25.

So today, after running 2.02 miles on the treadmill, I headed to McDonald's with TK to embark upon the first part of my journey through 30 B4 30. I didn't think that burning 190 calories would cancel out the triple-decker burger I was about to eat, but it made me feel a little better about the whole ordeal.

All 29 11/12 years I have been on this earth, I haven't eaten a Big Mac mainly because I thought it was too fattening. Little did I know that eating one Big Mac has less calories than eating 2 small cheeseburgers at McDonald's (it's true: Big Mac = 540 calories, 2 Cheeseburgers = 600 calories). I always go for the #2 thinking I am doing my waist a favor, but now I know this is certainly not the case. But, I do know that I really should make the smart choice and go for some leafy greens next time, and not the kind that are covered in bacon bits and ranch dressing.

So, let me tell you, this so-called "Big" Mac wasn't so big. Judging by television advertising alone, I always thought the Big Mac would be this giant sandwich that barely fit in my mouth, well look at the picture to the right...my man hands are covering up the sandwich because the burger is just not that big. Yes, it has 3 layers, yes, it has 2 all beef patties, but if I ordered this burger at a restaurant, I'd be pissed. Don't get me wrong, it was tasty and I did enjoy it, but next time I may have to just get a salad or maybe next time, I'll just get two.

The Suggestions That Did Not Make My List of 30

A few weeks ago when I came up with the idea to do my 30 B4 30 project, I received a lot of suggestions from my friends and family as to what I should put on my list.

Some ideas were a little too brave for me, like "Go skydiving" and "Go on a submarine" because I am not into jumping from a plane that is not on fire and has a fully functioning engine, and I don't know where to find a submarine that gives rides. So these ideas received two big NOs.

Then I received more interesting suggestions, like "Watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy without leaving your couch," "Take a road trip with no plan of where to end up" and "Be part of a flash mob." A few years ago, I watched The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers with my brother for one big wastoid of a day. When the movie was over, we realized neither of us had showered, we ate most of the food in the fridge and it was 8 p.m. Not really how I want to spend a sunny summer day, especially when I am trying to steer clear of elastic pants.

Taking a road trip without an idea of where I want to end up means I have to relinquish all control and my indelible tendency to plan. I just don't think that it's possible. I am sure I would end up with a spreadsheet of what I'd hope to do, a Mapquest printout of where I'd want to end up and borrowed tour guides for every state I think we will drive through. I know it's annoying, but it's just the way I am programmed and it comes in handy when getting married and hosting a 35th birthday party.

Now, being part of a flash mob would really be cool, but I am almost positive the Grand Central Station performance took longer than a month to plan, so I couldn't add that being that my deadline is 30 days. Also, I have a hard time staying quiet for a long time...which leads me to my most humorous request that was given to me by my loving husband. He suggested that I "Don't talk for a whole day." Now, I know it isn't the sound of my voice that irks people, it's the constant presence of it. I used to get notes sent home from teachers in elementary school because I didn't shut up. Teachers would tell my mother, "It is amazing that Melissa learns so much in class because all she does is talk." I've also been told by middle school teachers that my voice carries and high school teachers that I don't know how to whisper. So, I sympathize with TK because he doesn't understand how my brain works, why I think out loud or why I ask so many questions, but unfortunately for him, I will never be a quiet girl. I won't even be a shy or a soft-spoken girl. There is just no chance. Besides, I am Italian and Puerto Rican...are these people quiet? I think not.

Starting tomorrow, you will see what 30 items I actually did pick and I am going to talk about it for 30 days straight...sorry TK!

(P.S. I read this whole post to him and his response was, "DAMN! It was such a good idea too.")

Turning 30...but not yet!

Everyone has been asking me how I feel about turning 30. Well, it feels fine. At first I thought, "Well here is where it all goes downhill." But, then I thought, "At 30, I am more aware of who I am now and how I feel." Just thinking back to who I was at 20 brought back some uncomfortable memories.

On my 20th birthday I was at Penn State starting my junior year and I was feeling pretty down on myself. I remember feeling lonely and not sure where I was going in my life. I was sharing a closet-sized room with my friend Jessica because I didn't win the coin flip (I never do and I warned her of this fact). We shared bunk beds and she was on the top and I was on the bottom. I even had a poster of The Rock stuck to the underside of her bed. I actually still have a "thing" for him. That hasn't changed in 10 years.

In this shoebox of a room, we used to laugh until we cried because if I was sitting at the desk clicking away on the computer, she couldn't get to her clothes in the dresser. It was pathetic and funny at the same time. We really bonded that year and I think she really helped me through most of my rough times. From scream crying because the guy I liked told me I was "wife material" and he didn't want to date me anymore to staying in Pennsylvania for Easter because my parents wouldn't pick me up. She was there for me and I am very thankful for friends like her.

I have learned, after three decades, that there are true friends and there are fair weather friends. True friends stay with you when you are at your best and remain with you while you are at your worst. Fair weather friends are just around for a good time without any depth or focus on any particulars. It is good to have both in your life, but true friends will remain with you for decades to come and that will add value to your life. So, Tom, Alyson, Colleen, Allison, Leslie, Jonelle, Nicole, Jessica, Jen, Terri, Aneta and Jessica...you are true friends and I am thankful for your loyalty. And for all those friendly folks who I haven't mentioned, I feel your worth and I thank you as well. Friends are the family you choose.

Also, I am far less apprehensive about turning 30 because I will begin my 30 B4 30 project on Thursday of this week. One more day...

A New Project

As the end of my third decade on earth approaches, I have come up with a little plan to rid my life of "no I haven't" and "not yet." I am introducing a 30 B4 30 project where I choose 30 things to complete in the 30 days before my 30th birthday. Every day I will do something I have never done before or learn something I don't already know. Then, I will come on this blog and write about the eccentricities of the day, how that activity affected me and what I learned from it. I am hoping it is an exciting and fun process.

Currently, the list only has 22 items on it, but I am still in the process of populating it and I am soliciting help from everyone I come across. I took some items off of my Life List to add to the 30 B4 30 list because they were important to me when I added them to that list and it would be great to get them done while on deadline.

For the 30 B4 30 project, I have made some stipulations; everything on the list has to be something realistic and close enough in proximity that I can get there or accomplish it within the 30 day limit. So there is no "Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro" or "See the Mona Lisa." It has to be in NY and available.

So, the project begins on August 5 and ends on September 4 when I turn the big 3-0! I will make updates as needed, so keep your eye out...And, make some suggestions of things I should do or learn before I turn 30 because I still need 8 additions to my list.

DMB at Citi Field

This was the second year in a row that I went with my friends to see Dave Matthews Band play on Long Island. This year, fortunately for me, they were preceded by the Zac Brown Band, who I seriously love being that I am a country music fan and have recently traveled to their mother land in Nashville. One of their first songs was "Toes" which is an excellent summer song that requires a beach chair and a Bud Light Lime to fully enjoy, but I was standing in the middle of a crowd of thousands, so I didn't have either and enjoyed it just fine.

Towards the end of their set, they sang "Chicken Fried" and I teared up a little when they got into the part about saluting "the ones who died and the ones who gave their lives so we don't have to sacrifice all the things we love..." It's a fun song, I just get a little emotional when they talk about the pride that lives within being an American. (Pause) But, then I went back to screaming and dancing along with them. Zac Brown even made an announcement about autism awareness and how important it was to help children. Very commendable. They ended their set with a cover of "Killing in the Name of" by Rage Against the Machine. It was pretty great and we rocked out.

Then, around 8:30 p.m., DMB came out and I only knew a handful of the songs they played. I do love Boyd though. He plays the violin and is pretty sick. It always impresses me when a big dude chooses to play such a female-dominated instrument. And, back off with the Yo-Yo Ma comments because you know what I mean. It is just very unexpected. I also noticed that Carter, their drummer, had the best smile. He was just beating on the drums and smiling away, the whole concert! He is part of a pretty amazing band with more than a million fans, so I don't know what there is to frown about, but it was good to see he was having a good time along with the rest of us.

TK was a little perturbed with their choice of encore songs, but I didn't mind because I knew I wouldn't know the words to them anyway. DMB ended with "All Along the Watchtower" and TK started the walk to the car. I stayed with my friend Nicole because I just love and appreciate live music. This may be because I only played the recorder and clarinet in middle school and they never really caught on. I do sing though...alone...in my car.

The entire DMB set list from Saturday is listed here: http://road.davematthewsband.com/SetlistsDir/setlist.asp and my favorite songs of the night were "Funny the Way it is," "Satellite," "Crash" and "Shake Me Like a Monkey." We had a great time and I am looking to go to another concert this summer, but preferably one that I can sit in a seat at least part of the time.

Hairspray at the Patchogue Theatre

I went to see Hairspray at the Patchogue Theatre on July 15 with some colleagues and it was like being transported back the the 1960's where segregation was still prominent and big ridiculous hairstyles were first popular. For this energetic and enterprising era, the costumes were on point and the set design was fitting. It was just so upbeat and fun.

Some people think, (including myself) "How good could the play be? It's in Patchogue," but when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong and I was definitely wrong this time. Patchogue Theatre really puts on some good shows, especially shows from the Gateway Playhouse. The actors were funny when they were supposed to be and were so lovable. And, whoa, did some of them have some pipes. Especially Motormouth Maybelle who was played by Fran Jaye and really killed it with every song she sang. She practically rattled the theater.

I will admit, for the first 15-20 minutes I really thought Edna Turnblad was played by an overly stocky woman because Jerry O'Boyle was so convincing as the heavyset mother of Tracy Turnblad. (I had to check the playbill.) Edna Turnblad really goes through some personal (emotional, not physical) growth throughout the play and O'Boyle really embodies the development of that part. You really end up admiring him/her.

Tracy Turnblad (Brooke Shapiro), the main character, was a cute and courageous teenager and her friend Penny Pingleton (Sara Jayne Blackmore) was quite the little comedian, especially when she sings that she's, "tasted the chocolate" and is "never going back." She was so expressive, I actually laughed out loud. And, Todrick Hall, from American Idol fame, was Seaweed in this production and didn't try to steal the show or go overboard. He accepted his supporting role status as he belted out the necessary tunes and grooved his way across the stage in dance numbers. I was completely impressed because I wasn't a fan when he was a contestant on Idol. My view has changed, for the most part.

If you don't get it by now, I really liked the show and forgot that I wasn't in NYC at a Broadway version. It was great and the cast worked very well together. What a fun night out!

Down to Tennessee

I just got back from a vacation to Tennessee with my parents and sister-in-law, Erin. We drove down on a Saturday and stayed over in Strasburg, VA. Then on Sunday we continued our journey to Gatlinburg. When we got there we saw a whole string of huge log cabins and a water park at our resort. One of the employees showed us to our room and we had to drive up a winding road all the way up a mountain. Then the guy gave us the news about the black bears that have been known to hang around the mountains, and my mom flipped. She was not happy in the least. Honestly, I think it would be cool to see a bear...from the comfort of my window or a car. I would rather not get my face ripped off for a bag of trash though. After we settled in and my mother yelled a little, we went down to the barbecue restaurant in the main building and then headed to the grocery store to buy some snacks and breakfast for the week. The rooms were nice. We had comfy beds, two shower heads, a jacuzzi tub, plasma TVs and a balcony that overlooked the forest. It was pretty nice, despite the dozen or so centipedes that graced us with their presence every morning and night.

The next day we headed to Ripley's Aquarium of the Smokies in Gatlinburg. They had several really cool exhibits and a Plexiglas tunnel where you can view sharks, stingrays and other fish from underneath. There was also a touch tank with horseshoe crabs and stingrays and a penguin playground, which I obviously loved because they are my FAVORITE. I was able to take some really cool pictures of jellyfish and other interesting sea creatures. After the aquarium, we walked around town in Gatlinburg where I had the most delicious donut at the Donut Friar and then made a few stops in Pigeon Forge, including Cici's Pizza which I have seen one to many commercials for.

Tuesday we left for Nashville and started with lunch at Joe's Crab Shack, another spot I see commercials for but haven't seemed to find in NY (Not sure if you are seeing a trend, but I like to eat.). We then took a bus tour of the area learning about recording studios, history, civil war and music. They have a replica of the Parthenon in a park in Nashville. Why? I don't really know, something about a cultural rebirth of the city...I still find it odd. I also took a walk through the Charlie Daniels Museum and I could smell a musty, moldy smell that was probably left over from the huge flood the area suffered from earlier this summer. Attractions have just started opening while we were there and in full force, which I was happy about. I was especially happy that The Wildhorse Saloon was open because that's where we ate, drank and line danced that night. We also listened to live music by someone named Les Richardson and he was really good, but he played a few too many Tom Petty songs. Sorry fans.

The next day we took a local's recommendation and took a visit to Cheekwood, a botanical garden that had a visiting Dale Chihuly exhibit. The Chihuly pieces were scattered around the gardens, carefully placed in specific spots to emphasize the shine of the glass or the organic shapes of the artwork. They were massive and amazing. After Cheekwood, we headed over to Belle Meade Plantation and took a tour of the mansion the housed the owner of Bonnie Scotland and Iriquois, the most important and most famous horses, respectively. One of the original owners of the plantation was a racist, but the history of it all was interesting. They also had a winery where the employees were so very nice and offered us a free tasting. We ended up buying bottles of Muscadine, a varietal of grape that is popular in the south and creates a very full, sweet tasting wine. It was very good. After stopping at a Sonic, we headed back to Gatlinburg and enjoyed dinner at Mel's Diner. A wonderful name for a food establishment, if I do say so myself.

On Thursday, we waited for my parents to get sales pitches from the timeshare folks and then we headed to Dollywood. The Mystery Mine and Tennessee Tornado roller coasters were great but the Thunderhead left me with a splitting headache and Blazing Fury was more '80's than neon spandex pants. My parents were very impressed by the live entertainment and the talented performers. I didn't see it, but apparently some musician played the banjo like a champ. Then we headed to the buffet dinner that was complimentary with our online ticket and it was called Aunt Granny's. The staff was very friendly and loved our accents.

Friday was our last full day in Gatlinburg so we headed to a Flapjacks for pancakes since we saw about a dozen of them, tried some wine at the Mountain Winery (it was after noon) and then to Zorb Smoky Mountains. I changed into a bathing suit and some shorts that I purchased and headed to the top of the mountain to get into my wet zorb. I got a running start and Super Manned my way into the zorb. Then Erin got in and the girl told us to lie on our backs with our arms crossed, then she zipped up the side and pushed us down the hill. It was so fun, odd and hysterical. We just sloshed all over in the zorb until we got to the bottom of the hill and swallowed a whole gallon of water. It was one of the craziest things I have ever done and it was awesome. My nutty mother did the dry zorb and got strapped into it and flipped over about 30 times. I would have thrown up but she loved it. We made a few more stops at places we wanted to hit before we left, like Smoky Mountain Brewery, the Donut Friar (again), Mayfield's Ice Cream and a few more souvenir spots to make sure we didn't leave anyone out at home.

On Saturday we got up at dawn and started our long journey home, but at least the drive was picturesque and smooth. Nothing unpleasant about it.