Lately it seems like everyone is wearing a ring or booking something or making appointments for the rest of their life. I feel like a spectator watching everyone else start their happily ever after while I am waiting for mine to inch its way along. I know that I shouldn't feel this way and I shouldn't be so selfish. I also know that Tom loves me and that he has plans for us. I just wish I didn't feel so left out. That is why I make plans to do whatever, so I do not miss anything. The worst thing for me is to be left out of an inside joke or to hear a funny story about a memorable time and all I can do is listen and laugh because I wasn't there. But an even worse thing would probably be to lose the love of my life because I am too pushy...but that's not the point!
I think I am just getting antsy because I love planning and I love organizing, so to see everyone else do it makes me feel a little left out. I know my time will come and I should not rush perfection because I know that Tom has something wonderful planned because he is thoughtful and creative, but I want an excuse to buy a dozen magazines at Borders, create websites on every wedding web site, jot down creative ideas and fill up my day planner.
Or maybe this is all an issue because I do not have ANY control over it whatsoever...
